Magnificent Obsession

David Robertson explains a little of how he became a Christian.

Everyone’s experience is different. I tell you my own, not to make it normative, but simply because it is the one I know best and illustrates how the basic principle of God’s revelation of himself works in one person’s life.

I was 16 years old and trying desperately hard to be an atheist. But the trouble was I could not. My mind could not accept that everything came from nothing and that life had no beauty, purpose or meaning. But equally I despised religion and thought Christianity was hypocritical.

‘Lord if you exist...’

Then one of my friends, who had had very little to do with the church, became a Christian. I was annoyed. But, after a series of parties at Christmas, I went with him to a small church that was having a ‘watchnight’ service on New Year’s Eve. As I listened to the singing, reading and preaching, I was totally unconvinced, but also totally confused. When the clock came to 00:00 at midnight, I prayed simply, ‘Lord, if you exist, show me and I will serve you the rest of my life.’

It seemed absurd, praying to a God I was not sure existed. I stepped out into the chill of a Highland winter’s night and looked up to the heavens. There was no flash of lightning. No bolt from the blue. No angelic visitation. Nothing. Two weeks later, I was lying in bed on a Sunday morning and I just had this thought, ‘I have to go to church.’ I woke up my brother and told him we were going to church. He laughed. But I was older and bigger than him and suffice it to say I compelled him to come with me. Successful as it was, that is a method of evangelism that I have never used since!

Personal knowledge of Jesus

As we were sitting in this small church by the seaside, the waves so close that I could hear them lapping against the sea walls, everything became clear. Of course God existed. Nothing made sense without this. Once I accepted that, it was easy to accept the good news of Jesus, because that made so much sense as well. From that moment on, I knew that the rest of my life would be the second part of my very simple prayer. And so it has proved to be. Thirty five years later, I have had many ups and downs, doubts and fears, but this one thing has remained constant. I am a follower and lover of Jesus Christ.

You can see from my own story how three types of knowledge – conceptual, concrete relational and intuitive – came together. I have yet to hear anyone’s story that does not include all of these. Last night, we had a great house group where three people shared how they became Christians. One was English, with no religious background, one Scottish, with a strict religious background that they rebelled against and one Indian, with a nominal religious background. Each of them came to Jesus Christ (or he to them) in very different ways, and yet their stories, although different, were similar. That is the way it is with real Christianity. It’s not like joining a social club or accepting a philosophy. It is about coming to a personal knowledge of Jesus Christ.

Making sense of reality

I am not one of those who is going to argue that my whole belief in Jesus Christ is based as in the words of the old hymn: ‘You ask me how I know he lives, he lives within my heart’. That would be absurd, to expect you to believe on the basis of my feeling!

Like the former Pope, Benedict, I would argue that faith in God is the one thing that makes sense of the world’s rationality. The world is now seen as something rational. It emerges from eternal reason, and this creative reason is the only true power over the world and in the world. Faith in the one God is the only thing that truly liberates the world and makes it rational.

Yet it is not enough to know only in our minds – we do have to experience it as well. As Jack says to Glory, in the wonderful Marilynne Robinson novel, Home: ‘It is possible to know the great truths without feeling the truth of them. That’s where the problem lies. In my case.’ Pascal, too, wrote: ‘We know the truth not only through our reason but also through our heart.’ Pope Benedict concurs: ‘The organ for seeing God is the heart. The intellect alone is not enough’.

That is why I pray for God to grant you the eyes of both intellect and heart.

Why obsess with Jesus?

So let’s come to the final question. Why is Jesus my magnificent obsession? Why does he mean more to me than everything and everyone else? Let me summarise it here: Jesus is the reason for my life.

Bob Geldof, together with Midge Ure, was the inspiration behind the first Live Aid concert at Wembley in 1985. He pulled off an incredible feat, getting so many major acts together, doing other concerts throughout the world, setting up Band Aid and getting an audience of some 1.9 billion. Yet, at the end, he turned to Midge Ure and said, ‘Is that it?’ The phrase became the title of his best-selling autobiography. It is the question we should all ask: ‘Is that it?’. I don’t know if you have ever had the experience of achieving your stated goal and then wondering: ‘Is that it?’. I love how Ravi Zacharias describes the disappointment of fulfilled pleasure: ‘The greatest disappointment (and resulting pain) you can feel is when you have just experienced that which you thought would bring you the ultimate in pleasure – and it has let you down. Pleasure without boundaries produces a life without purpose. That is real pain. No death, no tragedy, no atrocity – nothing really matters. Life is sheer hollowness, with no purpose’.

Jesus Christ brings that purpose. I am not like Bertrand Russell. I do not expect everything to fade away into oblivion. I know that what is done for Christ will last and that my brief moment on this earth has eternal significance because of him.

The Westminster Shorter Catechism asks the question ‘What is the chief end [main purpose] of man?’ and answers it: ‘Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.’ That is a great purpose.

Wee bit scared?

Sometimes, when people hear someone like myself say Jesus is my magnificent obsession, they get a wee bit scared. They imagine I am some kind of religious fanatic, for whom the only thing that matters is religion and everything else can go to the dogs. That is not the case; in fact, precisely the opposite. If the world were simply heading for oblivion, why should anything ultimately matter? But, because the world was created by and for Jesus Christ, then everything does matter. I don’t love my wife less because I love Jesus more. I love her more. I don’t love humanity, music, literature, nature or whisky less because I love Jesus more. I love them more. What I love less are those things that are anti-Christ – hatred, sin, evil, and the devil and his perversions of God’s gifts. Julian Hardyman’s Glory Days has the subtitle, ‘Living the whole of your life for Jesus’. That is the story of my life since the day I bowed the knee to Jesus.