I’m a page that you have turned, I’m no longer your concern.
So don’t tell me what to do, I’ll love you forever if I want to
Thus sang American country music artist Pam Tillis in 1990.
She might have been singing about an abandoned spouse suffering after the UK government’s proposed changes to the divorce law have taken effect. The overhaul will seek to bring the idea of ‘no-fault divorce’ into reality.
The Guardian sums up the current rules: ‘Under the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 in England and Wales, anyone seeking a divorce must either prove their partner is at fault through adultery, desertion, or unreasonable behaviour – or, if both sides agree, they can part after two years of separation. In the absence of consent or evidence of fault, applicants must wait until they have been living apart for five years.’
Disposable marriage
However, David Gauke, the Justice Secretary, is now planning legislation which will ‘remove the need for separating couples to wait for years or allocate blame for the collapse of their relationship’. Effectively, he is seeking to bring in disposable marriage. We have disposable nappies, we have disposable plastic cups, we have (through abortion) disposable babies, and now we are to have disposable marriage as well. The change is supported by the Labour Party.
Of course, underlying this proposal is the ‘sovereignty of the self ’ – the belief that we all have a right to choose how to live our lives without any reference to binding external standards of any kind. It comes naturally in a society which has forgotten God… no God = no transcendent truth or rules. Each of us must define our own truth, and our own way to live. The only sin is to tell someone else that they are wrong to live as they have chosen. So, as always, the heart of the problem is the problem of the human heart.
The Lord’s law
What did Jesus have to say about this? He said a married couple is ‘no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate’ (Matthew 19:6). The disciples ask the obvious question: ‘Well, how come the Old Testament allowed it?’ Answer: ‘It was because you were so hard-hearted.’
Colin Hart, Chairman of the Coalition for Marriage, said: ‘No-fault divorce could see a person divorced, have their access to their children ended, their assets divided and themselves removed from their home by court order, all despite being faithful to their marriage vows. What is particularly concerning is that the government’s own impact assessment conceded that
these changes will lead to a spike in the number of divorces and broken families. Based on previous reforms, this spike is likely to become the new normal.’
Writing in The Spectator, Melanie McDonagh nailed the pastoral element: ‘I’ve seen so many divorces where there was actually fault, usually one of the parties running off with someone else. I can see why the adulterous party in the business should want to remove the distasteful fault element; I can’t quite see how it improves the situation for the cuckolded or otherwise wronged spouse.’
Jonathan Williams, Family Policy Officer at Christian advocacy group CARE, said: ‘The government is putting forward a view of marriage that prioritises individual freedom, rather than encouraging sacrifice and commitment.’
There’s already a website called ‘quickie-divorce.com’ which says: ‘If you use our three-step process to generate your divorce papers you can initiate your divorce in less than three minutes.’ Clients, it says, can then ‘get on with their new, happier lives’. No mention is made of their spouses.
Last chance?
The situation is not yet fully lost, however. Legislation has not yet been brought in; it is due to be introduced in the next session of Parliament. It may be that with Brexit and all the ongoing chaos with that, there is simply no time for other matters to be discussed.
So we can still pray, and we can write to our MPs. However things unfold, we can keep on explaining a better way – indeed the Way, the Truth and the Life, namely Christ.
