God’s family

Family is important. Everyone knows it’s true. Don’t they?

We live in a world of family breakdown. Of our seven immediate neighbours where we live, all are broken homes in the process of rebuilding their lives: second marriages or relationships; single mums; late-in-life divorcees. It’s tragic, and in this context, Christians rightly talk a lot about family; we teach about it; we celebrate it.

Only things are not quite so simple when you open the Scriptures. In fact, there’s a real chance we Christians might be overstating the case and making family into an idol. It seems clear to me that the building block of the kingdom in the Old Testament is the family; this is where the teaching is to happen; this is where the grace of God is displayed; this is where festivals are celebrated.

On into the New Testament there comes a shift, however. Now, Christians from different persuasions are going to disagree about the extent to which this is the case. And all Christians should agree that the family is not unimportant (see Eph. 6:1-4, for example). But surely all Christians would agree that there has been a shift also. The building block of the New Testament is the church, rather than the family.

In fact, this shift will sometimes cause sharp divisions amongst family. We’re all against family breakdown, but a careful reading of the Gospels will alert us to the fact that sometimes it is the very good news of Jesus himself which causes the splits. Some families are rent apart by the gospel (Luke 12:52-53). Others will have to leave their earthly families to follow him (Matt. 19:29). We’re not to rejoice in this division, of course. We long for healthy and holy families.

However, we recognise that the church itself is God’s family (Gal. 6.10) with Jesus as the head, explaining how some OT prophecies can refer to him as a ‘father’ (Isa. 9:6) and as someone with ‘offspring’ (Isa. 53:10). He is not, of course, The Father, but he is father-like in his headship of the family.

Such refocus helps us promote a better way:

Family-like

First, we will make our churches more family-like. This is a better approach than making them family-friendly, which tends to be our strategy. If we hear and obey the words of Jesus, then we are related (Matt. 12:50). The older folk in the church are mums and dads to me, grandparents to my kids, and so on. This means meals together and not just meetings together. It means serving one another freely, not just the creation of rotas.

Inclusive

Second, we will ensure that this family-like atmosphere is inclusive. Too many churches exclude singles and widows. To our shame, such an attitude has made it very difficult for those not in nuclear families to thrive in church.

Pastoral

Third, we will look to the church to do what the church does. I often hear fathers talk about themselves as ‘pastors’ of their families. I understand what some of them are trying to say, but our theology of church does not allow us to remove into families what we seek to promote and be as a gathered people of God.

Committed

Lastly, we will make church a priority. Too many of us relegate church down to something that fits around family life: kids’ parties; family gatherings; sport, and so on. There are, of course, a myriad of reasons why we do this. But surely chief among them is a failure to see the church itself as our primary family, a good gift from God to celebrate and delight in.