Dragons in the congregation

Dragons are mythical creatures that breathe fire and smoke, are covered with impenetrable scales, can do serious damage, and often guard great treasure.

I am using these fantastic beasts as a metaphor for difficult people in a church who can mount personal attacks on the leadership or on the church generally, seem often to be impervious to counsel, and may well obstruct the church moving forward in its vision.

What is a dragon?

A person is a dragon not because they are a pain in the neck to the pastor but because of their destructive actions and words with regard to the church and its leadership.

It is a big mistake for pastors or elders to treat everyone who doesn’t see eye-to-eye with them as an enemy. Some Christians are not well taught; others may be immature. Some may be angry. But it is only when a person is endangering the life of a church in a wilful way that we should put them in the category of dragons.

And even then we need to be slow to see them as enemies. Dragons can cause much hurt and heartache. However, it is worth reminding ourselves that these folk are often (not always) true brothers and sisters in Christ. They may just be well-intentioned, forceful people who, from their own point of view at least, mean good for the church. They feel strongly though they see wrongly.

When it comes to trying to tame these dragons the words of Paul spring to mind: ‘The Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance…’ (2 Tim. 2.24, 25). It may not be easy to keep your temper when people are being difficult. But that is what has to be done because, leader, you are meant to be the grown-up here. Dented pride should never be the driver of a leadership’s response.

Where do dragons come from?

Let’s think of a few examples of where dragons might come from:

• Dragons could be people who have been hurt by another church leadership and are out to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

• Dragons may be people who have exercised some power in the church (perhaps visibly), but now feel their position threatened by the coming of a new pastor with fresh ideas.

• Dragons are frequently successful business people or retired pastors who are simply used to calling the shots and now have great difficulty not being in control.

• Dragons can be needy old people, who don’t feel safe in an unfamiliar, high-speed, changing, digital world and want to find security by bringing back the past.

• Dragons may be people who have been repeatedly passed over for promotion at work, hate ‘executives’, and see you the pastor as a reincarnation of the boss!

Many of these folk simply need a friend. There was a man in our own congregation who was difficult. But once I started meeting with him for lunch now and then, he calmed down. He just needed to know that someone was listening to his point of view. Not all of the difficulties are solved as easily as that – but some are. Dragons need prayer and truth and love.

There is much more to say. But this article comes from a book I have published privately titled The Balanced Pastor and is available free of charge via john@horrocks.co.uk