Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
The last few years have been pretty brutal. Many are feeling bruised and exhausted; wary of committing themselves to church community; uncertain as to whether church leaders can be trusted.
Reports have been written, new policies adopted, commitments made, but there is a danger this will just be a clanging gong. A danger that we think our problems stem from a failure of teaching, understanding or practice, rather than simply a deficit of love among too many of us as leaders.
We have set aside the Lord Jesus’ example of self-sacrificial responsibility in leadership, borne out of love for people, and instead we have applauded leadership which is tough, independent, invulnerable and hierarchical; leadership where authority over people replaces love for people.
We have claimed we love the flock by feeding them, forgetting Jesus’ command to tend them. We have encouraged for ordination not those who prove that they are the most loving of people but those who are confident and good on their feet, those who can get a job done.
The deficit of love displays itself in the treatment of lay people of both sexes, of the young, the elderly, the marginalised and the poor. We see it in the way complaints are brushed off and those who question are sidelined.
When the men who claim to be modelling Christ-like servant leadership are in fact distant, dismissive or demeaning, it does untold spiritual damage. The damage is not primarily due to the actions and attitudes of these men – none of us can model Christ perfectly – it comes from the way that the leadership then colludes to deny the problem and demand that these men are respected and honoured.
Wonderfully, there are many godly church leaders out there, many serving in out-of-the way places, who are showing the most excellent way that Paul commends.
Men who love the women of the church and will lay down their life for them. Men who take time to know them – as sisters, as mothers, as daughters. Men who are delighted to see older women teaching the younger women and who will do all that they can to equip them for the works of service God has called them to. Men who do not treat Mary and Martha the same, and who sit with the women at the well and with the widow who has lost her son.
Men who love the men of the church and long for them to be godly sons and brothers, fathers and husbands, so they seek them out, bind them up and strengthen them for the task. Men who are so delighted when these men use the gifts that God has given them, that they honour them and learn from them.
Men who, acknowledging their own weakness, love and honour each member of the church family, as a fellow-worker and partner in the gospel.
Men who do not presume on their position but instead delight in truth and ask for forgiveness when they fail to model Christ. Men who would rather sacrifice their own comfort than see others harmed in any way.
Men who are humble enough to accept church leadership must be genuinely plural because alone they cannot meet the need or bear the responsibility.
Men who look to the Lord Jesus Christ for their rest and reward.
Will you join me in giving thanks for these men and praying that others will follow in their footsteps?
‘Power is a powerful drug and the detox process is hard’
One of the most insightful speeches at the Church of England's General Synod in July came from The Revd Lindsay …