Five ways not to offer hospitality on Sundays

We are told in Romans (12:13) to "practise hospitality" (as it is spelt with British English, or, if you are American, to "practice hospitality"!).

I’m not sure that hospitality is just when people come round to your house though. Church services – they’re a teeny bit like having your neighbours around for dinner, or the football, or a ‘brew’. So wouldn’t they too be a place and a time to "practise hospitality"?

Here are five things that I don’t think you would do when your neighbours come round to your place, so why do so many of us do them at church?

1. Not saying hello

First, when your neighbours turn up for tea, you may be busy in the kitchen with the last-minute brownies, but when the doorbell rings, you’ll come and say hello, won’t you? Why is it then, at church, when our neighbours come for a service, so many of those involved in the service are praying during that crucial 10 minutes before the service starts? How about praying 30 minutes before the service, so you’re free when people show up for church, and we can greet them properly?

2. Not introducing friends

Second, when your neighbours show up for the football on TV, and if you have others coming too, you’ll introduce them if they don’t know one another, and stay with them to develop the conversation. Good hosts don’t just dump strangers into a social situation which many would be just plain uncomfortable with. But sometimes we can do just that at church.

Christians are used to talking to new people (or at least we should be), and my guess is that it’s easy to forget just how intimidating it can feel to be told, for instance, half way through the service to turn to your neighbour (a total stranger) and ask them what they had for breakfast! Remember, you may be fine with all this. But stop. Think about the socially naïve and nervous neighbour who might just show up at church next Sunday. How would they feel? How can you make them feel as at home as it is humanly possible to feel when coming to a new and probably thoroughly strange experience?

3. Making them clear up

When your neighbours come around for dinner, you’ve had a great meal, but you don’t then spoil it by asking if they can clear away the plates, put the paper serviettes in the recycling (can you do that?) and load the dishwasher or help with the washing up, do you? So please don’t ask them to put away the chairs, take the church Bibles back where they came from, or do the recycling when they come to church! It’s just not very… hospitable.

4. Not bringing them drinks

At most churches we expect people to go and get their coffee, don’t we? But at our house, we ask them what they’d like and then bring it into the lounge, where they’ve gone to sit down. I guess you’d do exactly the same. Think what it might look like if we could be just a bit more hospitable at church. I’ve started going to get coffee for new people, and so far it always has a very positive reaction. Perhaps others might do the same, but without colliding with rampant three-year-old boys on the way, and that’s not always easy!

5. Failing to say goodbye

Finally, if people come to your place, you’ll usually say goodbye when they leave. It’s part of being hospitable. How many people though, do we see walk out at the end of a church service with no-one to say goodbye to them? It seems to me that these are all easy fixes, small tweaks. Things that will help us to "practise hospitality" just that little bit better.

This article was updated and corrected to the British spelling of "practise" - after "practice" inadvertently slipped past the multiple pairs of eyes that had looked at it! We are sorry about this.