Ministry burnout? Rest is part of the work

By God’s grace I have a busy life. I pastor a large church in a deprived area. I am a husband and a father of four wonderful children and have many other ministries and responsibilities that cause much worry to dear Christian friends.

Many have gifted me books filled with advice on how to prevent “ministry burnout.” Not only do these books add to my burden, they are often embarrassingly out of date, reminding me of the same Human Resources (HR) rhetoric I heard in business 20 years ago.

Before we continue, I must stress that I do not wish to burnout. I am not against rest, neither am I against prioritising family time. Having a Sabbath day and regular holidays to recharge is incredibly important - and Biblical. 

My concern is that this new wave of Christian “self-help” literature is adding to the burnout culture. A self-fulfilling prophecy that makes ministry sound like secular work, so it becomes arduous to the reader. If the church ceases to be a family that you long to serve and becomes an employer that you have to work for, then all love is gone, and burnout is inevitable.

Home and ministry life: not to be separated?

Many of these authors advocate for a healthy “work-life balance” that implies a separation from home and ministry life. From experience, this can be very dangerous. Such a distinction adds undue pressure to “perform” when you are “front stage” and permits a different life “back stage.”

My advice is to simply drop the curtain. The children I see most in love with Jesus and the church are those whose parents are most in love with Jesus and the church and integrate this passion into their home. Those who make no distinction between ministry and family time show their children a love for Jesus and sacrifice for others. What better example could they give? Parents who count hours in their Christian service will raise children who will do the same. 

Compartmentalising the ministry and family life often creates spoilt children who only know how to spend time with their parents if it is undivided and then feel abandoned when Daddy leaves them to put on a “show” for the church. This can build resentment at home, adding to the pressure.

I do not see anywhere in Scripture where the apostles compartmentalise their work for the Kingdom. They lived out their faith, together with their families, in divine community (Acts 4:32). Jesus did not "clock-off" from the needs of His followers (Matthew 14:15). Even when Jesus had set aside time alone with His Father, He still came to the disciple's aid (Mark 6:48). When praying in Gethsemane Jesus went to check on the disciples three times (Matthew 26:45).

A calling, not a job

How I have managed to overcome burnout is to accept that ministry is not a job, but a calling. Which means having to allow the church to become an extension of my family. This has given my children a wonderful upbringing, they have been raised enjoying countless visitors, and they have shared in every aspect of ministry (where appropriate and safe to do so). 

My family have no resentment or regret because I take time to serve others; they are proud of their Dad. My family have never felt like they have had to settle for the “leftovers” of my time because they have always taken part in the main meal with me. The church has given my family hundreds of grandparents, aunties and uncles, brothers and sisters and best friends that they have all grown up with together.

They know that their Dad is the same in the pulpit as at home. There is no front stage or back stage, there is no show - just natural, authentic, shared moments of love between my church and my family for the glory of God. I do not have to worry about serving both my family and my church separately, because we are all in it together.

If you make the mistake of chasing after a better “work-life balance” in ministry as many of these “self-help” books suggest, the needs and pressures of both will crush you as they inevitably overlap. I have seen this happen with too many friends of mine. Ministry is not a job that you can clock off from, it is a way of life that includes rest. Rest is part of the work.

If you make the mistake of treating ministry as just another job, your church will have no choice but to treat you as just another service provider. But if you love your church as family, they will love you and your family enough to respect your time and capacity so that you can rest.