Pastor, do you suffer from 'chronic busyness'?

I have been wrestling with an uncomfortable question over the last few years - and it's one I've been running from.

Until this year I thought it was a wrestling match that I was winning.

The question is simply this: "Perhaps it’s time to stop blaming other people for my chronic busyness?"

Christian ministry and busyness

The nature of Christian ministry has a bias towards incessant activity, and for good reason.

The great commission of Matthew 28 offers instruction and hope simultaneously mixed with the anticipation of Christ’s return in glory and judgement. Those in ministry tend to resolve the tension by frenetic, passionate, gospel-driven activity with a hint of desperation.

Early years in ministry can typically sustain the onslaught of seemingly endless congregational tasks that need plate-spinning attention, but as one gets older or family life becomes more demanding this method of running harder and ever faster becomes unsustainable and one inevitably slows.

It is at the point of the "great slowing" that leaders tend to reach for the excuses - much like capable runners who can no longer run close to their personal best and curse the weather as the reason for their decline.

My favourite of all excuses is to blame the fatiguing demands of busyness on the unseasonably high number of pastoral requests.

This excuse enables one to both justify that one is doing their job and yet not be asked any further details; however the reality behind my fatigue and frustration is more to do with my reactive pursuit of attempting to get more done than is reasonable to expect.

And so, when I can no longer keep up, I’m caught by the question that has been chasing me for years: "Perhaps it’s time to stop blaming other people for my chronic busyness?"

An over-functioning/under-functioning dynamic

I overheard a leadership coach deploy a penetrating question to an exhausted leader the other day that helped make this realisation more concrete: "In what ways have you contributed to this environment of overwork that is crushing you?"

The question acknowledged that the problem is primarily within the leader and not outside of them, and therefore we do have some agency under the power of the Spirit to change rather than blame.

In my coaching and leadership training I will often encourage leaders to work hard to spot unhealthy patterns of behaviour within themselves, their staff or leadership teams and even congregations.

One of the most prolific behavioural patterns in churches that contributes to at best a culture of frustrated busyness, and at worst burnout, is an over-functioning/under-functioning (O/U) dynamic. It is deadly because it is so difficult to spot and even more challenging to change.

An O/U dynamic is where one person consistently does something for another person or group that the person or group ought to do for themselves. Within a church context this dynamic can often look like a leader who drags themselves into the office early on a Sunday because the intern never got around to printing the notice sheets; it’s the minister’s wife who hasn’t heard a sermon for a month because they always fill in for the last-minute drop-outs on the Sunday school rota. Of course, we are called to sacrifice ourselves in service of others but the issue is when the leader’s dependable pattern for covering the gaps provokes the reason others feel the liberty to withdraw and drop out.

The temptation is to blame the intern, the inexperienced staff member or the demanding congregational member, but the theory of the O/U dynamic - first coined in the 1950s by Murray Bowen - also recognises that this pattern is maintained by a complicit leader.

For, despite the busy leader’s protestation that it’s always down to them to pick up the pieces or to jump in to avert the crisis, the pay-off is the sweet but temporary taste of feeling self-righteously indispensable.

Here lies the tension at the heart of chronic ministry busyness – we recognise that our rhythms are unsustainable but we also secretly depend upon them for our sense of purpose.

This pattern is perhaps all the more challenging in a culture that is changing so quickly that many in formal leadership roles feel not only de-skilled but perpetually overwhelmed with imposter syndrome. At least we say, "No one can fault my work ethic!" Or, "I may not know what I’m doing but they can’t do it without me."

What do we do?

If, then, I am to resist blaming others for my chronic busyness and take responsibility for my own performance in sustaining this pattern, what can I do?

The solution isn’t straightforward, as the O/U dynamic in most churches is long-standing unofficial agreement between those who over-function and those who receive the benefits of under-functioning.

The stark reality is that we must clearly and appropriately delegate what we can, and endure the pain when things inevitably go wrong. It is this aspect of pain endurance that is key. If we’re honest as leaders, the reason we do more than we ought to is because we’re seeking to avoid the pain of losing control, or the pain of imperfection, or the pain of criticism.

Lets end by turning our eyes to the example of Jesus in Mark 1v35 - while surrounded by an overwhelming flood of needs, the sick and demon possessed: "Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed."