Who dares steal your dignity?

Dignity. The dictionary definition of this word is 'The state or quality of being worthy of honour or respect.'

However, as Christians we use the word dignity in many different ways, and as a result its real meaning has been eroded over the years.

We talk about honouring God, but rarely talk about honouring those around us. We talk about respect in the context of church and how we do church, but often fail to give respect to some of the people who come to the church. I'm often described as dignified - by which most people mean I don't complain about my disabilities much.

Many years ago, the musician Adrian Snell wrote a concept album called Beautiful or What. It’s about a family who have a child who is disabled. One of the songs is a dialogue between the disabled child and God (via her rag doll), and a line in this song sums up a lot of what I want to say:

'Who dares to steal your dignity away when you're mine?' (This is God speaking to the child).

Disability and the loss of dignity

When you’re diagnosed with something 'disabling', dignity is often one of the first things to go. You’re no longer honoured, for example, with the simple task of making your own choices.

As I’ve spoken to people over the years, I’ve heard the stories of others coping with disability - either theirs, an adult relative’s or their child’s. In those conversations it has been clear that many were mourning the loss of dignity - not just in the medical sphere, but also in their communities and their churches.

As I’ve listened to their stories I’ve been both angry and extremely sad.

'Who dares to steal your dignity away when you're mine?' Apparently lots of churches do, and they’re missing out on so much by doing so.

Is turning a family away from a church because of the additional need or the disability of their child treating them with dignity?

Is saying someone can’t join in with something they could easily do treating them with dignity?

Does keeping church services and worship inaccessible, because we don’t want to change, give dignity to those who would dearly love to worship?

The song I quoted goes on to say, from God's perspective: 'I celebrated the moment I gave you life.' The families and individuals with disabilities I’ve spoken to don’t feel celebrated - they feel like an inconvenience. They’ve been given no dignity.

I know how they feel. I do a lot of writing, on behalf of others, to churches and organisations to try and help them make what they do accessible. I spend a long time crafting my emails to make sure they are not angry or accusing, but rather, supportive and offering help. I give the recipients of these emails dignity, but sadly that dignity is often not returned and I’m not even graced with a short (or long) reply. My communications are largely ignored, and I feel like an irritant.

Those who have additional needs and disabilities often face another problem: when they are not treated with dignity, they feel very guilty if they complain or inwardly moan... but that’s a subject for another day.

For now - don’t ‘dare to take someone’s dignity away’. Give everyone the respect and honour you would expect for yourself.