'I have some delicious sweets in my pocket and at the end I shall give one to the best behaved boy or girl . . .'
'Ten points to the team who are best at sitting and listening . . .'
'And I expect you to listen when I give instructions . . .'
'If you can't behave you can go and stand outside the door . . .'
Those are four strategies commonly employed to manage children's behaviour in Sunday schools and children's clubs. At a time when professionals (i.e. schoolteachers) acknowledge that even young children are generally more unruly, aggressive and uncooperative than was formerly the case, what is the mere amateur to do? He or she is very likely to resort to one of the above. But I venture to suggest that such strategies are rather poor in the long term.
Poor strategies
Sweets, then, are great for jollying the proceedings along. But used as a bribe or reward they provide only extrinsic motivation. It's like getting a (badly-trained!) dog to sit up and beg: it will do it, take the sweet and the next minute do something dire on the carpet. No internal co-operation has been achieved. The same, incidentally, applies to the awarding of stickers - you get so much, but not a jot more.
Team competition can be very enjoyable in the short term - for example, in a week-long holiday club - but if used to try to modify behaviour over an extended period of time, it raises questions of fairness. What about the well-behaved exception in the generally-unruly team? Or the deviant in the well-motivated one?
Shouting increases the general noise level - the children will get louder too! It can be frightening - do you like being shouted at? It is also demeaning and quite contrary to an atmosphere of mutual respect. My experience is that the particular children whose behaviour you wish to modify, will be thoroughly enjoying the display of histrionics and will not be in the least deterred. Excluding a child has ever been a last resort. What are they going to learn outside the door? Not the gospel but rejection. It represents a failure on everybody's part.
So, what are we left with? How are we to create from a gang of raucous children an ethos of co-operation, self-discipline and wholesome enjoyment? You might be inclined to ask: 'Does it matter? All I am interested in is holding those children's attention for that one hour per week, so short term measures are good enough'. But without internal co-operation and a certain amount of self-discipline, it is very unlikely that any real learning will result. This is a corollary to the foundational principle that 'the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom' (Proverbs 1.7).
Teachers with attitude
Let's think first about teachers with attitude, and that is all of us, because everyone who has ever worked with children has some fairly decided opinions.
Teachers with attitude need to:
(1) Value children equally. Children are sweet, aren't they? Well, no - not in every case. There will always be at least one who is quite the reverse. Have you ever caught yourself hoping that one member won't turn up? Then you need to remind yourself of Luke 18.16. Jesus was not sentimental about children; he just affirmed that every single one is precious - yes, even the one who picks his nose and swears.
(2) Have high expectations. What are your assumptions about children? They are sinners, of course. But do you consider that that implies that they must always be forced or bribed to put out the right effort? Or do you believe that under the right conditions children will direct themselves to an accepted target? Research has shown that teachers with the former kind of assumptions en-counter far more behaviour problems than those who hold the latter.
(3) Be good role models (cf. Paul in Philippians 4.9). Be enthusiastic about every activity (whatever you feel like). Sing, join in the actions, listen attentively. In other words, whatever behaviour you require of the children, model it yourself. Be scrupulously fair, don't jump to conclusions, keep your promises. Be respectful and speak to them as you would like them to speak to you. Listen to them. Remember the warning Christ gave about those who cause a child to stumble (Matthew 18.5,6).
Children with attitude
What about children with attitude? There are plenty of those. But all children will benefit if your club/activity contains the following components. And behaviour problems will diminish with only three or four of them.
(1) Achievement. Ask yourself if there is an achievable goal? Can the activity be brought to a successful conclusion in the given time? Children will spot a mere time-filler and so will you, if you are honest, when you find a lot of half-finished gummy 'walls of Jericho' in the waste bin after the meeting.
(2) Recognition. Make sure that any contribution a child makes is valued. Appreciate. Notice. Welcome. Display attractively and as immediately as possible any excellent effort. The children will get the message.
(3) Task interest. Is it the same old format every time? Is it appropriate to the age and ability of the children? Could it be presented in a more interesting way? There is no substitute for thoughtful preparation.
(4) Responsibility. Allow children at some point (however small) to use their own discretion. Give scope for trust. Children respond well to being trusted to carry out an appropriate task independently, however trivial.
(5) Advancement. Is there anything to give in the long term a sense of promotion or progression, whether in status or task? I don't say this is easy to plan, but it is something to strive for as you prepare.
Five principles
To sum up, here are five principles of behaviour management. My advice is that you get your team together and discuss them.
(1) Know what behaviour you are looking for. Very often we react to unacceptable behaviour, but fail to articulate what we want. Therefore we fail to notice and appreciate. The target must be set up.
(2) Negotiate expectations and communicate them clearly. This may sound a bit like a trades union, but if you want self-regulated behaviour you must involve children in the rule-making. Ask them: 'Why is it important that we are all quiet before I give the instructions for the game?' This gives you an opportunity to be really clear about your expectations and to get the children on your side. It is quicker to give orders, but it needs much tighter structures and a great deal of policing. Have a small number of explicit 'rules'. Display them if you like. But the aim has to be that they are internalised.
(3) Catch them being good. 'There is no performance, however poor, that cannot be made worse by a lack of encouragement.' This holds true throughout your life. A praise-based ethos is biblical. Furthermore, recognition serves not only to encourage and reinforce, but to teach. It is reckoned that praise should outweigh correction by a ratio of 3:1. If you wish to initiate new behaviours the ratio should be more like 10:1.
(4) Set clear boundaries. A praise ethos does not mean that you never correct. On the contrary, you and your team must have in place a system of discouraging strategies: looks, warnings, corrections. I recommend a light touch, but consistency is the watchword. Where limits are marked half-heartedly or inconsistently, children get the message that expectations are not serious. Inconsistency is not the same as flexibility, however, and correction must take account of the differing needs of the children.
(5) Support the weak. Tighter structures do help some children to succeed, so in some cases more achievable individual targets must be set. Strategic use of personnel can greatly help, even man-to-man marking. The goal is to help the child towards greater independence from adult control.
Being practical
Finally, some practical points:
(1) Give clear explanations. Make sure the children understand what is required of them before they start. Script or rehearse the instructions beforehand, if necessary.
(2) Handle any misbehaviour quickly and calmly so that the pace of the lesson is not lost.
(3) Make a prompt start and a prompt finish.
(4) Make sure the seating arrangements are suitable. Can the children see what is going on? Would it be better if they sat on the floor?
(5) Minimise external interruptions as far as possible. Put someone on the door to stop parents or casual visitors unnecessarily barging in during the lesson or activity.
(6) Make sure that you have the necessary materials for the activity to hand before you start. If any member of the group is disposed to mayhem, you are handing out an opportunity on a plate if you have to go and search for pencils.
Believe it or not, working with children can be a joy!
Esme Shirt
This article owes much to the Positive Behaviour Project (Leeds City Council, Education Department).
