I have usually been the one up front; Sundays, that is, morning and evening. But for a rare few weeks I have been able to visit a variety of churches and chapels; not as a visiting preacher, nor as a sermon-tester, nor even to find where to settle down . . .
It is good to get the feel of several congregations in a different area, and incidentally to appreciate better the feel of the pew - its hardness or comfort is one factor, but not the chief!
Nice to see you
Everyone is different, and we should never make our God-given variety into a problem. Some like to be welcomed from the moment they are spotted coming down the street towards the gothic doorway, Bible in hand; others like to creep in and out for the first six months without being noticed - which is a bit harder in a congregation of eight! But how does the host church know what is visitors want or need? They shouldn't worry; you can usually tell from the notice-board what to expect. You can even guess which Bible version they use by an in-depth study of the style and phrasing of the sign outside - even without a text to guide you!
The swamp method
Some churches are committed to the swamp method - swamp a newcomer with embraces, literal or otherwise, from the first moments. We have had our hands shaken in the porch by three different people, been shown to our seats by a fourth, then greeted so warmly by the people around us that it was impossible to collect our thoughts, let alone digest the information sheet, before we were all asked to stand up again. Twice in one service we have been invited - no, instructed - to introduce ourselves to our neighbours; warily or wearily we let slip our names, addresses, jobs, previous church and minister's name, to the relentless interrogation of our brothers and sisters. No one actually asked for our credit cards (just as well) but after a mere five minutes of one service, one lady said she hoped we would come again next week.
Then, unless you make a dash for it in the final hymn, you run the gauntlet of the same people again, plus the pastor who stands at the door. Or you can choose to mix in with the crowd around the coffee, during which anything may happen. On my first-ever visit to one church, I was asked if I would like to run the youth group (but that was 30 years ago)!
At the other extreme is the church where no one says hello or gives you a book. You hope you select the right one (if in doubt, try Mission Praise) and the only eye or hand contact is when to the accompaniment of soothing music, someone sidles up and offers you a small bag with curious handles.
Never mind the books; they are secondary, if they are there at all. The main item in your hand is probably the notice-sheet, or sheets. Some places offer a guide to the service, announcements for the week, message for the month, motto for the year, special report on the mission, visitor's card to fill in ... and we haven't even started on the hymn and Bibles. Notice-sheet? It's more like a couple of duvets.
Some such papers are so professional that you wonder how long they took to produce and how much it cost; so that's what those little bags are for! Anyway, Kathy or Geoff seem to be enjoying experimenting with the new software. Others (or the same ones) are so chatty that you are still left wondering who's who. 'Remember Mike, away at Grimsby this weekend': is he our much-travelled pastor, a missionary on leave, a prisoner on parole, or someone convalescing after a stroke? Any-way, 'Steve will give the message from Ruth 2'- good. But is Steve the assistant minister or his wife? And why did one of the Ruths have to help him?
What's on this week
Spoilt for choice! This is your first time, remember. There is a Beginner's Group on Monday, Home Groups Tuesday, on Wednesday the Alpha Course, Thursday Young Home-builders, Friday Friendship Club (a real code at work here) and on Saturday 'A party at Jake's place - All Welcome!' By way of contrast is the church announcing (as well as some of that) 'Prayer Meeting in the hall, Wednesday 8.00 to 9.30'. Firm ground at last!
Look up
Take your nose from the leaflet pile and what do you see? I have been used to looking the other way, down to the Exit, for years; this is different! You may not be specially turned on by stained glass or candles, but is a stage cluttered with electronics any better? Two or three unemployed microphones, trailing leads everywhere, a large cardboard box, and someone's jumper draped over a chair. I'm not saying, 'bring back the Victorian brown paint and Ye Old Texte', but shouldn't the view at least not put us off?
And switch on
What about the music? You didn't expect an organ and hymn books, did you? Master the new lingo and you're off to a good start: 'We've put the choruses on the overhead to give us space to really just worship...' Come again? He means, the words of the next song will be on the screen. It's not just a device to get you near the front or raise your hands; what you are about to sing, no book would ever print. One of the next five songs may sound vaguely familiar, but the regulars seem to know them all, except the one which fizzled out because it proved too much even for the music group. And you can pick the tunes up fairly easily by the third repeat. One snag: you never know when the last verse is coming ... or going!
If you suggest singing a hymn, they might blow the cobwebs off 'Praise my soul, the King of heaven', but have they heard of anything written this century which has verses, regular rhythm and rhyme? No.
The psalms
Not a lot to say here; there aren't any. This integral part of biblical worship seems to have dropped out of sight, except in the occasional phrase picked up in some jingly chorus. They get a good press in sermons, but that is all about their private, silent use. What a loss to our public gatherings!
Who's in charge?
Is this again a matter of balance, somewhere between one leader and 12? At one extreme, all sorts of unintroduced people jumping up to do their thing ('Thank you very much indeed for those prayers, Audrey'); at the other end, the whole thing led by the pastor from way above our heads; the reading, the notices, the bits he's not very good at ... while we sit in our docile pens beneath. My wife says: 'I do like to have someone there who knows what he's doing,' and I agree; but if it's a total one-man show, no Free churchman can ever complain about priests or prelates in the Church of England.
Let us pray . . .
(i.e. 'Shall we just bow our heads for a brief word of prayer?')
In smaller congregations I appreciated the opportunity for either on-the-spot suggestions, or (even better) freedom for anyone to pray informally and aloud. Note, aloud; audibility is a risk usually worth taking. I appreciated the leader who had given some thoughtful preparation to this part of the service, rather than simply attribute his off-the-cuff preoccupations to the talents of the Holy Spirit. It is natural and right to pray for particular friends who are ill, by name, but I appreciated prayers and thanksgiving which also range much wider - for Tanzanian elections, a local employment project, and some things that only Christians care about anyway. In our travels to date, no one yet has prayed aloud for the Queen or her government, or for our enemies.
Above all, I appreciated the rare occasions when we could all pray together in the words that our Lord Jesus Christ taught us.
The sermon
I have kept the best till last; this is what we are here for, isn't it? We have had an intriguing variety of introductions to this spot in the programme. 'Pete will now explain that reading from the Bible'; 'Joe will teach us from the Scriptures'; 'Cliff will give the address', and so on. At one church, questions were invited afterwards, with some interesting discussion which gets harder as numbers grow, and isn't always appropriate anyway. But no one, yet, has used the words 'preach' or 'sermon'. Is this another over-reaction, I wonder; will there be a swing back again?
What was the sermon (teaching, explanation) about? We had no idea why or how the theme was chosen. But the churches we most felt like going back to next week were those where having reached the end of Chapter 2, we were due to move on to Chapter 3 the Sunday after.
I have long believed in consecutive expository preaching wherever possible; I had not before experienced it from a consumer's angle. At its best (which is what, thank God, we have often been hearing) it is a means of grace, an aid to memory, and something to look forward to. Praise God for that, and pray for the preachers and hearers! Everything else must help, and nothing must hinder, the hearing of what God is saying to us.
Did I feel threatened?
New experiences can be a bit alarming. As a one-time professional, you might think I had no cause for anxiety in my new role. We must always think about the real newcomer or outsider, just as we might feel on our guard on entering a betting-shop or a mosque for the first time. I can report, finally, that we were both anxious to do the right thing at someone else's style of Communion.
And I was actually nervous only of being asked to dance, to admit it was my birthday, or to drink coffee from a polystyrene cup.
