What are the basic principles of pastoral counselling? Psychiatrist Dr. Pablo Martinez, whose seminars at this year's Word Alive were so popular, gives his answer.
In the life of the Christian worker, counselling is one of the greatest sources of joy and satisfaction.
Nevertheless, in order to do it well, we need the right reference framework, rather like a roadmap to enable us to move correctly on the path of the healing of souls, which is not always an easy task. The pastor needs to know exactly what is required of him as counsellor, otherwise this very beautiful ministry can engender negative feelings and lead to an inner restlessness.
Having this theoretical framework as a starting point is a crucial part of counselling that will prevent our getting lost in our work en route. Pastoral psychology can be a very useful tool in the ministry, but it can also be dangerous when we use it incorrectly.
Main mistake
One of the main mistakes with many churches and pastors has been to conduct their 'pastoring' without this model that serves as a constant reference point. This leads, in the best of cases, to ineffective counselling, but sometimes it causes more harm than good. What then should be our theoretical model?
The answer to this question is the key that will enable us to avoid many extremes, criticism and unnecessary confrontations among sincere believers, and also many feelings of personal frustration.
Let's first define what must not be our paradigm. The theoretical model in pastoral work is not a psychological one. It does not come from social sciences or medicine. The aim is not to turn the pastor into a mini-psychologist, nor is it to turn the church into a therapy group. If our starting-point is psychology, it will be difficult to avoid making the pastor into an amateur psychologist. The mistake that not a few Christian leaders have made was convincingly pointed out by H.O. Mowrer, the well-known non-Christian psychologist: 'Too many pastors have exchanged the message they had for a plate of Freudian lentils'.
In some countries this has led to a 'psychologicisation of the church', which has been justly criticised. The criticism is justified when the church, or its leaders, have started off with theoretical models which reduced pastoral counselling to an impoverished version of professional psychological therapy.
The other extreme
However, the other extreme is equally dangerous. We cannot throw out all that stems from secular psychology, and hold (boasting in spiritual ignorance) that all psychology is of the devil. Christians can receive great good from psychology, as they can from other realms of science. The practice of pastoral counselling can be greatly enriched by knowledge of the secular schools of psychotherapy: from Freud to Rogers, from behaviourism to the existential schools of psychology. We can find real gems of human understanding that are not opposed to Christian living.
Let's not forget that the opposite of that which is spiritual is not that which is human, but that which is carnal. It's legitimate to use these human tools, but not as our reference point, rather as an instrument. The aim is not to have mini-psychologists but great pastors, because the aim of the church is not to experience personal happiness or self-fulfilment, but to grow into the likeness of Christ.
Therefore, the pastor can, and must, be trained in the basic skills of secular psychology. It will be extremely useful for him. Having said that, his basic model is not in the human sciences, nor in medicine. The pastor, it is hoped, will, above all, act as a pastor towards those in his care. It is at the same time both simple and profound. This is exactly where our reference framework is to be found: pastoral counselling is Christ-centred in its pattern and church-centred in its application. The Good Shepherd, Christ, is the paradigm in pastoral counselling.
Growth and maturity
Another function that is required of the pastor is that of providing 'green pastures' that will nourish and help his sheep to grow. The abundant life (John 10.10) which Jesus talks about implies (among other things) a progressive growth in maturity. If we wish for a biblical counselling that is faithful to biblical revelation, it must always contain a pedagogical element of training.
The ultimate aim is not to feel better - mere relief from tension. For the Christian counsellor the aim is to encourage growth and maturity. The ultimate goal of the healing of souls lies in the whole maturing of the person. When the counsellor limits himself to (the first two aspects of) knowing his flock and suffering with them, he limits himself to bringing relief to present situations.
Pastoral counselling also has a view to the future; it seeks to change ways of thinking and patterns of immature behaviour; it seeks to prevent the problems that stem from certain behaviour that is harmful to the Christian.
Paul's example (Col. 4.8-13)
The apostle Paul summed up this idea very effectively in Colossians 1.28: 'teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ.' The word translated as 'perfect' also means mature or grown-up. On another occasion he referred to this same idea in a very precise and practical way: 'When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me' (1 Corinthians 13.11). There comes a moment when the person has to 'take off' their immature behaviour. This development from that which is immature to that which is mature, is one of the basic objectives in the healing of souls.
Let's go back to the passage in John 10: 'When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him . . .' (verse 4). To be a guide, to teach, is one of the key functions of the counsellor. As a pastor he goes ahead, shows the way and directs the sheep. Let's not forget that the shepherd has a staff to encourage, but also a rod to correct, on occasion where it is really necessary.
Word of caution
We need, however, to give a word of caution here. The counsellor who seeks to teach solely by rebuking, has understood neither the spirit of what a shepherd really is, nor the real essence of counselling. Reducing discipline to a mere exercise in telling off is very far from the spirit of the word 'exhortation' that Paul so often uses in his letters. To exhort is to seek that maturity that enables the person to discern good from evil. We see the author of Hebrews express this idea in a very beautiful way: 'But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil' (Hebrews 5.14). The nature of a child is revealed in that he doesn't know how to make decisions, and is incapable of discerning what is the best thing for him. The ability to discern between good and evil, or even between what's good and what's best, is one of the best thermometers to measure the growth of a Christian. In psychology we would talk about 'autonomy in making decisions'.
Unfortunately, sometimes it is the person himself who does not wish to grow. The person likes their childish role because it exempts him/her from responsibilities. He/she wants others to decide for them, and in this way they feel protected. Unless we succeed in overcoming their resistance to abandoning childish ways in their spiritual life, these Christians become a constant burden in the life of the pastor and of the church.
It is for all these reasons that the ultimate goal of all our activity in pastoral counselling is personal growth, and the formation of adults (rather than maintaining children).
It is in this regard that the Christian counsellor clearly stands out from many professional psychologists. The aim of the pastor-counsellor is not to make people feel good. Of course, the gospel has undeniable therapeutic aspects which consequently will make many people feel at peace, and emotionally and spiritually better. Nevertheless, the aim of the gospel and therefore of counselling, is not primarily to enjoy ourselves or to feel good.
Hedonistic thinking
In this sense, it is worrying to see the dangerous influence of hedonistic thinking in the church in our day. In certain congregations you can find such a marked emphasis on personal needs and feeling good, that the Christian life, the act of worship or counselling are converted into an egocentric treatment of 'my' needs. This is a subtle influence of the hedonism of our society and we need to be properly aware of it. The purpose of the Christian life is not for me to feel better each day, but for me to become more like Christ each day. The ultimate destiny to which we as Christians as moving, is that the character of Christ be formed in us, not the selfish realisation of our personal well-being.
The pastor's psalm par excellence, Psalm 23, in the first part presents us with green pastures, choice grazing land and still waters. However, in the same psalm we also find another side: the valley of the shadow of death, the paths of righteousness, the presence of enemies . . . It is the primary task of the pastoral counsellor to equip his flock adequately in order that they will be able to face both types of situation. The Christian life has many green pastures, but it also offers many situations that are hostile and go through the valley of the shadow.
We conclude with the picture of the pastor again. In biblical counselling we are not content with eliminating neurotic behaviour or symptoms. In the last analysis, we are aiming for the shaping of Christian character. It is not just a case of suppressing pathological behaviour, but rather of the building of a person, the new man who is like the paradigm of man: Christ. In this aspect, the 'cure of souls' fits in perfectly with the biblical idea of health that seeks peace in the whole person and not just in the absence of illness. The clearest aim of the Good Shepherd is: . . . that they may have life and have it to the full . . .' May God help us to grow more and more like our model.
