Receiving feedback is a common experience for all church musicians. I’ve said in a previous article that the feedback I take seriously is from wise, godly people, and those who are in the habit of bringing guests to meetings. These people always have their minds fixed on serving others and not themselves.
However, dealing with the feedback of those who are simply looking for their own needs to be met is a delicate process. This is because their feedback is often very subjective, and is sometimes quite emotionally manipulative, but also they are feeding back to musicians who have problems dealing with their own emotions, and are equally manipulative!
Personal preferences
It’s easy to spot self-orientated feedback. The comment always starts with, ‘I’. ‘I prefer the organ.’ ‘I’d love it if there more upbeat songs.’ ‘I really don’t like that song.’ ‘I prefer the old words.’ Or, as I’ve had on two or three occasions, ‘I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!’ One of the sneakiest is to add a royal ‘we’ in to disguise the ‘I’ – eg, ‘I think it would be really good for us if we had more singing in harmony.’ Smell a rat?
