Being a child of missionary parents is not easy. Heidi Sand-Hart has written a book on the subject and spoke to EN about it.
EN: Tell us about your background. Were your parents missionaries?
HS-H: My background is quite unusual and slightly confusing. I was born in Derby (UK) to a Norwegian father and Finnish mother. I have two older brothers, the eldest of whom is mentally handicapped and lives in Ashbourne. My parents were missionaries to the Asian population of the UK, starting various churches for the Indians and Pakistanis in Derby, London and Slough.
We then moved to India and spent five years in total in a hill station in South India, although due to visa restraints, we couldn’t live there for longer than a year at a time. My father travelled all over India working with many churches and organisations and we tagged along for some of it, gaining a broad understanding of India. We ping-ponged between England and India for various durations of time from the age of five to 14. When I was 16 years old, we moved to Norway for a year-and-a-half — to complicate matters even further!
EN: How did you come to Christ? Was being part of a missionary family a help or a hindrance?
HS-H: I guess I was born into it really. I did make a conscious decision to accept Christ when I was around 11 years of age. To many missionary kids, being part of a missionary family is a hindrance. Many fall away at the wayside, with the pressures and expectations too great, but the only way I can describe it is that God was far too real and present in my upbringing to bother questioning or denying his existence. I was spared from forming a negative association between the duties of my parents’ faith and my own beliefs. The sacrifice and selflessness of my parents and their desire to help people, both spiritually and physically, has left a big mark on me, and I strive to live with the same pure intentions as they had and continue to have.
Understanding
EN: What do Christians need to understand about missionary kids?
HS-H: Where do I start?! I suppose that not having traditional roots set in a place or country is normal for us and actually, OK. Through all the moves — the constant making and breaking of friends — we have learned to plant our roots in people not places. So our family become our ‘home’ instead of a house — hence the title of my book: Home Keeps Moving! We have little room or chance to grow sentimental about belongings and buildings because they are constantly taken away from us.
Also, that we may have a different way of looking at the world. We experience confused loyalties because we are technically from many places. Children who move a lot during their formative years (until the age of 18) soak in the worldview and values of the country(ies) they live in. Hence, our worldviews are an amalgamation of the many places in which we’ve grown up. We may not feel 100% behind any one country when it comes to the World Cup and have a hard time knowing how to answer the question: ‘Where are you from?’
EN: How do you counsel people who feel torn between different cultures and don't feel that anywhere is particularly their home base?
HS-H: That sounds remarkably like me! I think it’s important for missionary kids to embrace the positive aspects of their upbringings, not try to apologise for them. God and family can become our home base and in time, maybe a place will become that also. Jesus himself lived as a vagabond or sojourner for many of his ministry years and, if we can learn to value material things less and attain the willingness to follow him wherever that may take us, then so be it. In a sense, missionary kids are the perfect candidates for missionaries. The ability to adjust remarkably fast to a foreign culture and ‘go with the flow’ are riches indeed.
Family across the world
EN: Has being the child of missionary parents been a blessing?
HS-H: Most definitely! I couldn’t imagine growing up any other way and, if given the chance, I wouldn’t change a thing. From a young age, I have been surrounded by different cultures and ways of life and value being able to see the world from many angles. My parents gifted me with exciting, colourful and rich experiences of God and I am so grateful for all the travel we did. My parents involved us in their work and this impacted us from a young age. I remember one incident in India that will stay with me forever: I was six years old at the time, and my brother Ben was nine. We were in Uttar Pradesh, visiting some friends, who took us to a Sunday school meeting for poor children. We learnt that none of the children in the meeting had bowls or plates to eat from, and this really affected us.
Before we left England, Ben and I had saved up our pocket money to take to India and give to some poor people. We saw that this was the perfect opportunity, so we went to the market with my mum and bought 80 new plates and gave them out to these poor children at the next meeting. We were happy to help in a practical way, despite our own young age, and I guess a desire was born within me. My mother started two orphanages in South India for destitute girls and I was very involved with that and love having little sisters. I have taken over the baton from her a little and continue to do orphanage work all around the world, predominantly in Thailand.
As a result of being a missionary kid, I have family that extends all over the world — I may not have a traditional home but have ‘family’ to stay with in a hat-full of countries. I love feeling ‘at home’ in the most bizarre corners of the globe… when I disembark from an aeroplane in Bangkok, Mumbai, Vancouver or Heathrow.
Top tips
EN: What top tips would you give to churches who are pastoring children of missionaries?
HS-H: Wow, that’s a difficult question. I think it’s important to ask missionary children about their experiences. Usually this is something that their friends and fellow peers fail to do and many feel hurt by the lack of interest in their experience overseas. So just taking the time and interest in their experiences is a huge help. Also, maybe helping them get acquainted with the British culture, customs and even church culture would be useful. Just because it may be our ‘passport country’ doesn’t necessarily mean we know everything there is to know about our ‘homelands’. Many feel like strangers when they return from Africa, India or Brazil to the country that is supposed to be ‘home’. Give them time to adapt and feel comfortable in their new surroundings. I’m sure that would make a real difference.
EN: How should churches pray for missionary families in the light of your book?
HS-H: Pray for smooth transitions for the whole family when they make the big moves — whether it be going to or returning from the mission field. Pray that the parents can help their children process their feelings during the moves so it doesn’t result in suppressed emotions or unresolved grief. And also pray that the children will enjoy the experiences bestowed upon them and not take for granted the remarkable gift of growing up in many worlds.
Home Keeps Moving by Heidi Sand-Hart (published by McDougal) can be ordered from http://www.amazon.co.uk/shops/heidisand-hart or directly from homekeepsmoving@gmail.com
