How do you persuade those who already calls themselves Christian that their understanding of ‘being a Christian’ is inadequate — or even, that they need to become a Christian?
‘I used to go regularly to church, but now I believe that what’s more important is how you live.’ So said a lady to me after church last Sunday.
‘I really liked the talk’, said a student after a carol service, ‘but my problem is with those churches which ignore the homeless on their doorsteps.’
‘I was christened and confirmed when I was young, so I suppose I’m a Christian, but these days I find it easier to connect with God through nature’, someone else said to me a few months ago.
Call these people what you will (suggestions include nominal Christians, cultural Christians, non-practising Christians, the ‘fuzzy faithful’, the ‘de-churched’), it’s clear that they haven’t grasped the depth and implications of the gospel message, nor (probably) that they’ve experienced God personally. You can doubtless think of people like this in your own church and neighbourhood. Typically, they would say things like: ‘I’m a Christian because I try to lead a good life, following the golden rule’, ‘I’m a Christian because I go to church regularly’, ‘I’m a Christian because I believe in God and Jesus’, ‘I’m a Christian because I was christened and confirmed as a child / because I went to a church school’, ‘I’m a Christian because I was born again at a crusade years ago’.
Call themselves Christians
And whichever survey we trust (the 2001 census said 70% of the British population identified themselves as Christians; the 2008 British social attitudes survey indicated it was 50%), it’s clear that there are millions of people who call themselves Christians in this country, but don’t really understand what being a Christian involves.
Jesus said: ‘Not everyone who says to me, “Lord, Lord”, will enter the kingdom of heaven’ (Matthew 7.21). So what a mission field these people are! And what an army they would be if they were converted and experienced God at work in their lives! It is wonderful that so many churches are working hard to reach the unchurched and emerging generations who have little or no knowledge of Christianity, but how can we reach those who have just enough knowledge of Christianity to make them think they’re sorted?
In my experience, these are a particularly hard people group to reach. It’s not uncommon to hear a story along these lines: a young person from a nominal Christian home goes to university; through the CU, they become a Christian; they return home at the end of term and announce their great news to their family, only to be met with stony resistance — because the implication is that the rest of the family aren’t proper Christians.
What those students find is true of so many: try talking about Christianity with nominal Christians, and they fold their arms, as if they’re guarding themselves. They’re simply not open to hearing the truth that will set them free. Often, they’re resistant to come to an Alpha course or equivalent, because they think they’re ‘in’ already.
How to get going
So how can we engage these friends with the gospel, without being perceived as ‘holier than thou’ Christians looking down on them? (And, let’s face it, we wouldn’t want to listen to a person like that either!)
Here are two old principles to help us:
First, start on common ground, and build from there. So, instead of pointing out what’s missing from their understanding of what being a Christian is, start by agreeing with whichever parts of the Christian message they have begun to grasp. Develop those areas. That will help them to unfold their arms and welcome the rest of what we have to say. E.g.: ‘Yes, I think going to church is important, too. I find it helpful for hearing more about Jesus and growing in my faith. Why do you think church is important?’ Depending on the person, it can also be helpful to talk in the abstract at first, before making the conversation too personal.
Second, don’t set yourself up as the authority of what being a Christian is; let Jesus’s own words be the authority. That stops us coming across as superior, and helps our friends engage with the one who really is superior! E.g.: To a nominal Christian friend who doesn’t see the need of church, don’t say: ‘But I find going to church essential for sustaining my faith’; or to one who goes to church but thinks that’s enough, don’t say: ‘But real Christians don’t just go to church; they let their faith impact their relationships and work and finances as well’. Instead, say: ‘I guess it’s not that important whether I think of myself as a Christian. What’s more important is whether Jesus would call me a Christian — one of his followers. What do you think he says on the subject?’
What is a Christian?
What does Jesus say a Christian is? There’s actually an element of truth in many of the differing definitions that our friends give. For example:
* Jesus did talk about believing in him (e.g. John 6.28-29), although ‘belief’ means so much more than mere intellectual assent or saying the creed — it’s about an active trust;
* Jesus talked about and modelled belonging to a fellowship of Christians, a church (e.g. Matthew 18.20);
* Jesus indicated that his followers would behave in a distinctly counter-cultural way as a result of their faith (e.g. John 13.25);
* Jesus commissioned his disciples to baptise people as part of their mission (Matthew 28.19);
* Jesus said that even the most religiously upright people needed to be born again, having a personal encounter with God in their lives (John 3.3-7).
But here’s the point that we, and our friends need to grasp: Jesus didn’t give these as alternative ways of being a Christian. They’re all part of what it is to follow him.
The jigsaw
A picture speaks louder than 1,000 words, and I’ve found it very powerful to draw a five-piece jigsaw, albeit with one word on each piece (see above)!
When I’ve shown that to nominal Christian friends, it’s then very natural to ask: ‘Which pieces have you got in place? Which pieces are you missing?’ And if God is drawing those people to himself, they’re often now ready to acknowledge and discuss what’s lacking in their faith.
I remember using this model with a friend who couldn’t understand why his (keen) Christian wife didn’t think much of his (nominal) Christian faith. I gave him the pieces of the jigsaw and asked him to lay out which he had in place. He laid down believing, behaving and baptism. Immediately, he could see why church (the belonging piece) was so important to his wife, and we were able to have a conversation about being born again.
In my Anglican context, I used this jigsaw with a family who’d come wanting me to baptise their children. Through the jigsaw, they were able to tell me about their belief in God and of their profound experience of being born again two years earlier. I was able to explain, in turn, that baptism is just one part of a wider picture, and that they now needed to get involved in a local church.
Of course, no model is perfect. (Was the penitent thief of Luke 23 baptised? No. So there are exceptions to this rule of thumb. But I include baptism as a piece because Jesus does talk about it, and because many nominal Christians talk about their childhood baptism / confirmation as ‘proof’ that they’re Christians.)
Prayer
When it comes to witnessing, there’s no substitute for prayer and the witness of our lives. But this is a tool we can use to help us reach this vast mission field — and hopefully it’s simple enough to remember and draw on the back of a napkin!
Dan Clark trained at Wycliffe from 1996-2000. He is author of I’m a Christian, aren’t I? (IVP). The book includes testimonies of 14 people who have come to a full faith in Christ and discussion questions at the end of each chapter. It is suitable for giving to friends who are nominal Christians.
