David Murrow, in his book Why Men Hate Going to Church, surveys a number of reasons why many churches have recorded a steep decline in male churchgoing. Across America and the UK it seems that the proportion of female to male churchgoers is increasingly unbalanced. Obviously, if men are disappearing, then the church will become increasingly oriented towards women. This will then make the church even less comfortable for men, and young boys will depart when they reach the age of maturity.
Does this matter?
It matters for a number of reasons, not least that many men become an unreached people group. Many wives are unable to share their faith with their partners and many children grow up associating church primarily with women. The statistics are even more bleak than this. Murrow shows that an increasingly female church is also a declining church. He writes: ‘Once a church’s adult attendance is 70% female, you can write its obituary’. When a church becomes oriented towards women, even many women find it unattractive. A church that is reaching men will reach women too. There are some very obvious reasons for that!
Why are men put off?
The next question is why do men hate going to church? Obviously it is a generalisation, but there are many features of church life that make it particularly awkward for men. Apparent trivialities give men the subconscious message that they are not at home. A focus on flowers and pastel shades, singing songs which make Jesus sound like a romantic boyfriend, running family services which are really only aimed at children (and even they are given colouring-in sheets to distract them!). These are all features which remind many men that they are in alien territory. This problem is nothing new. Charles Spurgeon noted: ‘There has got abroad a notion, somehow, that if you become a Christian you must sink your manliness and turn milksop’. The notion has not gone away!
