The words of the evangelist John Hawley were never so terrifying as when he turned to me in the middle of Oxford Cornmarket saying: ‘Are you going to preach now, Simon?’
How is it possible for a nervy, stammering 17-year-old to stand up in Oxford city centre with hundreds of people passing by and speak? What Paul said came to mind: ‘Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me’.
That first day in Oxford was petrifying, but a day I will never forget. God took control and it was the first coherent talk I did in the open air. He brought people to listen and many took John’s Gospels from my hand as I finished. I remember the joy which filled my heart when I heard of one man in particular who was spoken to after hearing the message. ‘He seemed very close to knowing Jesus as his Saviour’, I was told. So began my gap year as a trainee evangelist with the Open-Air Mission.
On fire for God
I have been asked many times, ‘How did you feel called to the work?’ To answer this question I need to explain how the Lord saved me. I have had the privilege of being brought up in a Christian home and I asked the Lord into my life while I was still young. However, in the years that followed I had struggles with assurance and I would hear story after story of dramatic conversions and lives transformed by God. But this had never happened to me. So my doubts went on, sometimes I would be sure that I belonged to God and at other times I was certain I didn’t. Thankfully, over time I became more convinced of my salvation.
I decided to join a United Beach Mission team at Dawlish Warren. I was 15 at the time. As soon as I joined the team my doubts and despair came back in earnest. I felt as if God had abandoned me. Praying and reading the Bible seemed to make no difference. I remember getting down on my knees and praying; ‘Lord, if I am not saved and you have no intention of saving me, then there is no point in me living at all. However, Lord, if I am yours, then please will you do something within my life so that I will never doubt my salvation again’. The next morning during team devotions I remember switching off from the speaker and looking down at my Bible to see these words in bold: ‘I will never leave you or forsake you’. They struck me with incredible force and I remember knowing the presence of God gradually coming upon me in a wonderful way. It was an amazing week. I felt as if I was on fire and I came away from that beach mission thinking: ‘I want to be on a beach team for the rest of my life and tell people about the Lord Jesus’. Since then two things have remained constant within me: I have never doubted that I am saved and I have a desire to bring others to Christ.
Desire to serve God
After that summer I was back at school and then in the sixth form. By the time I had completed my A levels, I was weary with education, so I decided to defer a year before going to university. I had in my heart the desire to do something for the Lord, but I had no idea what.
I prayed and looked into many avenues of service, but my decision was finally settled when the new pastor of our church told me about the OAM trainee scheme. I had spoken a few times in the marketplace of my home town with others from my church, but little did I realise that the year ahead would take me completely out of my comfort zone and, during the first days of being a trainee, I realised that I had embarked on something which was totally contrary to my natural ability and character.
It was an exciting but challenging year. I was mentored by three of the full-time evangelists and I became involved in their churches while I was working under their tutelage. It was great to get to know so many different Christians from all sorts of different backgrounds and gain experience in various new things. As well as all the open-air preaching and witnessing, there were many other gospel opportunities too. I was involved in holiday Bible clubs, Bible exhibitions, school assemblies, door-to-door work and beach missions. There was such a lovely variety of occasions on which to pass on the wonderful message of salvation in the Lord Jesus.
Not always easy
I must be honest and say that at times I seemed to descend into the blackest pits and darkest valleys. However, the Lord always lifted me out and often I was brought so close to him that it was as if I was already in heaven. The most memorable example of this was a time when I felt like giving up. I remember feeling angry and saying to one of the evangelists: ‘There just seems no point at all! No one listens!’ I was ready to throw in the towel. The next day we were in Oxford and it was my turn to speak. So reluctantly and half-heartedly I began. It seemed a very ordinary sort of talk, but then as I began to speak about Jesus and the cross, a man stopped and began to shout at me at the top of his voice: ‘Lies, lies, lies’. He continued shouting and I was very shocked. I remember looking up to see a great mass of people thronging around. I tried to preach as best I could. I was astonished to see around 70 people standing listening. By the time we had finished the many profitable conversations that took place after the preaching, there was very little literature left in our display rack. That will be a day I will always remember not just for the crowd, but because of the loving rebuke I felt the Lord gave me.
Sowing and reaping
However, not every day was like that. One of the hardest things I have struggled with, and still do, is that I have never seen anyone become a Christian as a result of my work. Perhaps this is one of the reasons many churches do not run open-air meetings. However, during my year with OAM the Lord often taught me to see the bigger picture. Paul wrote of his own ministry: ‘I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase’ (1 Corinthians 3.6). I had the privilege of seeking to plant much good seed in many towns and cities. I had the joy of seeing evidence of people being nearer the kingdom at the end of an encounter than at the beginning. I had the blessing of passing on to many people precious portions of John’s Gospel, which they said they would read. In talking with the full-time evangelists, it seems often that it is only much later that they hear about fruit from their labour. We should never despise the sowing. After all, if no one sows, how can anyone possibly reap!
Who is interested?
It was an unforgettable year and one which I would not change for anything. I would encourage any young man who is reading this article and is interested in soul-winning to consider the trainee scheme within the Open-Air Mission. It will stretch you, but it will also develop those gifts that God has given you and you may find yourself doing things you once thought where impossible, as I did.
