Marrying a prince is often shorthand for social salvation in many a fairytale.
The lowly, albeit beautiful, servant girl is rescued from a life of poverty and trial when she catches the eye of a prince. Henceforth, they enjoy a life of luxury, ease and – one would hope – love. At first blush, our culture may appear to have rid itself of these stories for their old-fashioned gender roles (the woman tends to be reduced to a passive cipher whose life only becomes meaningful when the prince enters).
Yet many reactions on social media to the engagement of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle – including images of melodramatic tears with captions like ‘Me when I find out Prince Harry is engaged, but not to me’ – suggest otherwise. These reactions hint that the younger royals are seen more as heartthrobs than authority-figures, and that there is still a special connection between princes and happily-ever-afters in our minds.
Marriage still resonates
So how should we, as Christians, respond to the Royal Wedding and, specifically, narratives around it as ‘every girl’s dream come true’? The buzz around the news of Harry and Megan’s engagement reminds us that, though the institution is often derided as outdated and patriarchal, it remains something for which many people hope, and brings joy those who witness it – even when they do not know the couple! Simply watching people vow to support and love each other through thick and thin resonates with us, perhaps because we are made in the image of a covenantal God.
It could also be argued that the dynamic of fairytale relationships echoes the gospel: Jesus is the one who transforms our life and gives us hope by reaching out in love to us. We who are unworthy are made righteous by that love and, as the bride of Christ, we will become co-rulers with him. But, of course, it is not insignificant that this gift of new life and glory is granted by not just any bridegroom, but one of the persons of the Trinity. For this reason we should be cautious not to buy into the myth of Romanticism, while we rightly affirm the celebration of a marriage.
For Romanticism – the philosophy at the heart of almost every love song and Hollywood film – proposes that the human longing for acceptance, fulfilment, and belonging can all be met by finding one’s soulmate. Community, friendship, and God, are either seen as inferior or totally disregarded.
A wedding is not a marriage
Yet these, we recognise, are fundamental to the success of any marriage. So, while nowadays many weddings are infused with Romanticism, we should note that celebrating a wedding differs from celebrating a marriage. The first concerns itself with the dress, the music, the decorations, the meal. Those interested in the second show up not just on the day but for the long haul; they care about whether each partner is renewing their commitment every day, in the small things as well as the big; they care about growth and not just enjoyment. In short, marriage is more about compromise than crinoline and confetti.
Ultimately, no marriage – even one to a prince – can provide a happily-ever after. Marriage invariably requires discipline, repentance and grace. God uses it to sanctify us, not satisfy us, because only he can fulfil our yearning for unconditional, unfailing love.
Baptism and confirmation
The Royal Wedding, then, may be good news. But we should be even more hopeful and prayerful for Meghan Markle’s Baptism and Confirmation happening around the same time. While this may appear to be an administrative convenience, performed so that Markle can take Communion as part of the wedding service, and be fully involved in her church duties as a Royal, God can still work powerfully through the opportunity. We can pray that, in the preparation she receives, Markle comes to know God more fully, and that he meets her in a profound way in the baptismal waters. For while the vows she will make to Harry are only for this lifetime, those she makes to God will be of everlasting significance.
If her submission to Christ is wholehearted, then she will be united to an even more powerful, loving and gracious Prince (one who, incidentally, is already King).
