Aspects of a very 21st-century tragedy from a biblical point of view
Many young males are committing suicide.
Young females are self–harming. From a biblical point of view what might be the roots of this 21st-century tragedy?
On our bookshelves we have both The Dangerous Book for Boys and The Daring Book for Girls. There is a part in us all that responds – especially in men but in women also – to ‘the good fight.’ It’s as if we were made with a necessity to find our significance through a worthwhile battle story. And that story we are able to tell ourselves about ourselves is very close to our deepest identity, our very self. The story we see ourselves as living gives us meaning and purpose in life. If that story undergoes radical damage and disruption, our lives begin to fall apart. Perhaps here is the place to start in considering self harm.
Being human
Made equal but different in God’s image, both men and women have their ‘self stories.’ What was meant to be our original story?
The Lord gave Adam and Eve (A&E) a task. ‘God blessed them and said to them: “be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living creature on the ground” (Genesis 1.28).’ This project involved conflict and adventure. A&E were to ‘subdue’ the earth. Eden was God’s garden and it was to be extended across the planet. The word ‘subdue’ is a word often used in the OT of conquest, and in particular of conquest of the Promised Land, Numbers 32.22, 29; Joshua 18.1. They were to conquer the wilderness. Adam was made for that adventure and Eve was to be alongside him in it (Genesis 2.18). This was to be our story.
But we then come to Genesis 3. The Fall brings many terrible consequences. But what changed in this area of contending? First, whereas before A&E would have been contending for God, to see the world subdued for his glory, now that competitiveness becomes self-centred. Second, the opponent changes from a wild world to Satan and his seed (Genesis 3.15). This evil adversary who is far too powerful for us, leaving us in need of a Saviour if we are ever to fulfill our story. Third, as sinners, excluding God from the picture, the audience of our story is now ourselves, and what other people think of us becomes a huge issue (here are the roots of celebrity culture?).
Boys are suffering
The Fall brought disharmony and conflict between the genders ( Genesis 3.11-12, 16). It is not always of the same intensity and historically has gone through many sad stages. But at present the Western world has become anti-male.
I first became aware of this some years ago as I watched a TV police drama series about two women detectives Scott & Bailey. I soon realised that every male character was either nasty or an idiot. If a TV series had portrayed women like that there would have been uproar. But to do that to men was, evidently, okay.
Jordan Peterson says: ‘Boys are suffering in the modern world.’ Boys have always needed to prove themselves in some kind of competitive way as they grow to manhood. But now, says Peterson, (as society has become more intentionally secular), it has led to a situation in which boys can never win.
The atheist/secular explanation of humanity has an inherent contradiction which damns men. We are all equal in that we only have this temporary life in which to enjoy ourselves. But notice, at the same time, inequality is innate to the concept of chance evolution by which everything is explained. It’s survival of fittest; and fittest = stronger = better. Because men are naturally stronger than women this inevitably (on the logic of evolution alone) leads to a male dominance. (I’m not defending the misuse of male power – I’m just noting the fact of male power.) But here’s the contradiction; equality doesn’t fit with evolution which is innately hierarchical. Why would the strongest want to work for equality? And evolution doesn’t work with equality. It works by being ‘not equal’.
This contradiction means that men feel they can never be the hero of their story.
a) If men win in competition with women they are being oppressive (equality).
b) If a man uses his strength to help women he is condescending and patronising.
c) If a man loses to a woman he is a wimp (on the evolutionary scale).
This logic takes us back to Scott & Bailey (and Peppa Pig) – all men are either evil or idiots to be despised. And further:
d) If women are to gain equality men must be positively discriminated against.
The lesson is this: If you move away from a biblical world view with the complemen-tarity of men and women working in harmony, then ‘boys are in trouble.’ With this back-story, a male’s estimate of himself sags. He can only be a villain or a fool. And so, many males succumb to self- loathing which begins the road to suicide.
But the impossibility of winning goes deeper and turns on the girls.
Girls are in trouble too
Second-wave feminism, 1960-1990, proclaimed that women must be liberated from marriage, motherhood, housekeeping, family life, patriarchy, the reproductive function, old-fashioned morals, ‘heteronor-mativity’ (that male with female is the norm) and especially from patriarchal religion. It all tends in one direction – the ‘setting free’ of the ‘self.’ Everything is sacrificed for ‘self’, even what nature dictates. And this has actually become the agenda for everyone. (See 2 Timothy3.1-5). Where did this whole thing come from?
Will Storr’s 2017 book Selfie: How the West became self-obsessed gives his take on what has unfolded in recent centuries.
He labels the Christian view ‘the bad self’ – we are sinners. After Freud, it was replaced with a theory of ‘the good self.’ We are essentially good and only messed up by society and our experiences. During the mid-20th century this ‘good self’ was pushed further into what Storr titles, ‘the special self.’ Not only are we basically good, but if we would only understand how special we are, build our self-esteem, we would know true fulfillment.
It is around this time, 1980s –1990s, that designer labels came in and children’s names began to change. Parents started to choose unusual/special names. (We even had a child participating in our church children’s work named after a Greek god!)
But the ‘you are special’ idea implies a destructive corollary. It goes like this: ‘If I am really special, then all I need to be the person I want to be is within me.’ (It’s rather like Satan’s lie – you shall be as God). That might sound great. But hold on. Since all I need is within me, therefore, it is my own fault if I am not what I would like to be.’ Hence, ordinary youngsters are set up for failure.
The digital self?
With the advent of Facebook and Instagram etc., young people put online the perfect image of themselves. ‘I’m so special I ought to be a celebrity. Here are all the cool things I do. Here are the photo-shopped pictures of ME. In fact my life is almost perfect.’
But the problem is that deep down they know it’s not. And it’s all their own fault. So trouble emerges. ‘I’m not in control of my life. I’m a loser.’ Girls in particular begin to turn on themselves. Backed up by instantly knowing how many ‘likes’ / ‘dislikes’ they have – plus, maybe, some online bullying – the competitive self begins to loathe itself. There follows anorexia or cutting themselves to somehow regain that feeling of control.
Recent research among 14-year-olds has indicated 1 in 5 girls in Britain are self-harming. Self-harming among girls in the UK has risen 68% in three years. It is interesting that the iPhone was launched in 2007 just before happiness levels in girls started to decline. This is in no way to blame the technology – but it’s about the way the technology gets used in this current cultural climate.
Secularism has produced an air-brushed celebrity/digital culture that leaves no way for many young people to be content with an ordinary life. The teenage years are ones of vulnerability and self-doubt anyway. But now has been added this new and very destructive way of thinking. How much this generation needs the gospel!
