Making resolutions

There is a striking durability about New Year resolutions.

I’m not thinking, of course, of any ability to keep festive determinations, just the way people persist in making them. As one year gives way to another, huge numbers are moved to commit themselves to some kind of self-improvement project. And unlike so many of our efforts after change, these aren’t directed outwards. No blaming of circumstances or all those difficult people around us, the necessity for change focuses specifically on us. At some level, it seems, we know that things aren’t right.

Grappling with character

Of course, not everyone is keen on the whole New Year resolution business, but given their enduring popularity what can we say about them? First, notice that the changes arising from these New Year resolutions are typically behavioural. We resolve to moderate our alcohol intake, write more letters, get to bed before 11, take more exercise (more people join gyms in January than in any other month). None of which is bad – we all have behaviours worth changing – but doesn’t it reveal a certain reluctance to grapple with character?

The Bible shows no such qualms. From the wife of noble character in Proverbs 31 to the exemplary Berean believers in Acts 17, godly character clearly matters. And one way it develops, according to Romans 5, is through the experience of suffering.

So, given that so many of us will make them, how might our New Year resolutions serve spiritual ends. Here are five suggestions.

1. Dare to tackle the bigger issues. It’s odd how often the changes that would make the biggest impact on our godliness are placed off limits. A man with an anger problem explains that he’s ‘always had a short fuse’. A woman consumed by career acknowledges she’s always been ‘a bit driven’. A young man with profound anxieties has ‘always been a bit of a worrier’. A disorganised friend who never makes time for Bible and prayer just isn’t ‘much into routines’. But what each of these innocent phrases really says is: ‘This is just the way I am, and I can’t and won’t change it’. Which is how the really big issues in life, where change would produce the most far-reaching impact on our growth in Christlikeness, get excluded from the change process. So, dare to tackle the big issues.

2. Invite a little input from others. It’s unnerving how well others see our strengths and weaknesses. But, since most will be reluctant to offer a wide-ranging character critique, we need to seek their wisdom: ‘What character traits do you see in me and what down-sides do you think they have?’ will usually reveal some helpful home truths to work on.

3. Plumb the heart. Getting beneath behaviour means getting at motivation. Why am I doing this? What drives my anger? My careerism? My anxieties? And what truth about our God and his gospel would help me resist those tendencies? Answering such questions is never easy, but for change to be more than behavioural we have to get below the surface.

4. Start small, but keep going. Anyone anticipating a transformed personality by midnight on January 1st is going to be disappointed. Any character issue worth addressing usually takes years to change. Indeed, if it does disappear overnight, either we have misjudged our struggles or we are fooling ourselves about our progress. Expect to be in this for the long haul. So, start small and persevere. The angry man might begin by asking a close friend for weekly feedback on their anger moments. The career woman might implement one brief time-out each week before trying to extend it.

5. Get God involved. Tackling a tough issue is bound to produce tough battles and they will helpfully remind us that we can’t do this alone. So make prayer a priority from the very beginning. Our God is far more committed to our growth into Christlikeness than we are and wants us to seek his help.

Oh, and when your New Year resolution gets broken (as it will) don’t give up. Remember that, according to Romans 5, it’s endurance that produces character.