In just 20 years, more than 3 million Britons will be aged 85 or older; that’s more than double the current number. Meanwhile, local council budgets are being slashed as they struggle to support the most vulnerable.
In June, the BBC’s Panorama released a two-part series on adult social care. The first part asks, ‘Who Cares?’ as councils struggle to organise sufficient care; the second part asks, ‘Who Pays?’ as councils struggle to finance it.
The issue of who pays is a conversation for a different forum. But who cares? Who cares for the senior citizen with Down’s Syndrome? Who cares for the 75-year-old stroke survivor or the 90-year-old living alone? Surely, the resounding answer is: Christians do. We do.
There are many older people among us who need help with everyday tasks: preparing meals, doing laundry, etc. and yet they don’t qualify for significant financial packages from local authorities. Panorama reports, ‘in a system with such pressures, those with less obvious needs become almost invisible’. Most of these people rely on family. This is where Christians can step in.
The duty of care
There are many commendable stories highlighted in this programme. Michael is a man with Down’s Syndrome. His mother faithfully provided all his care for 58 years. And then she died. Michael’s young niece, in an amazingly countercultural choice, took on his care. Rita, a 77-year-old former nurse, developed Parkinson’s Disease, so her daughter quit her job to look after her fulltime.
Such families, whether believers or not, are fine examples of the Christian duty to care for ageing family members. 1 Timothy emphatically reminds the church it has a duty to ‘honour widows’ (1 Timothy 5:3). And families must care for their relatives, ‘if anyone does not provide for his relatives… he has denied the faith’ (1 Timothy 5:8). Christians care because we believe that all humans, regardless of age, strength, or mental faculties, are made in God’s image. Are worthy of respect. Are worthy of our time. In short, mental assent to imago dei must reveal itself in our hands as we practically meet needs.
How can we help?
• Visit the lonely. The most common strain among the families Panorama followed was loneliness. Barbara, a carer, says, ‘no one else ever comes.’ An 86-year-old woman calls the ambulance service during filming. Her ailment? Loneliness. She’d rather be in hospital to be near people than be home alone.
• Offer a free sitting service. Sit with a patient while their carer runs errands. Or offer to stay so family members can attend Bible Study. There are many, particularly those with dementia, who simply need supervision.
• Provide respite care. Carers need a break for their own wellbeing. Churches could consider using part of their budget so families can hire a short-term carer. Caregivers need a break from 24-hour demands, time to celebrate other family milestones or take a family holiday. Respite care benefits patients too, helping ease the guilt of being a burden. One such patient, Michael, said, ‘I’ve considered suicide to give my wife the respite she needs.’ Consider offering respite care before the family asks.
The reward for caring
Being a caregiver can be exhausting and isolating. It’s a role that comes with little recognition from society. And yet, there is immense reward in looking after the needy. It reminds us of our own weakness. It helps us throw off the concerns of this world and focus on what is eternal. Your service may encourage a saint as they walk towards the edge of the Promised Land. Feeling the fellowship of their church and tasting a bit of selfless love may help them joyfully anticipate heaven where love and fellowship will be complete.
Perhaps, the reward will be even greater. The Lord can and does use ministry to the elderly to save those who have rejected Christ all their lives. Rosaria Butterfield, in her book Hospitality Comes with a House Key, says this in response to her mother’s deathbed conversion: ‘I realised something; not everyone can come to Christ in the fullness of life – while the world, the flesh and the Devil are raging and strong. But anyone led by the Spirit can come to Christ on the deathbed, when the flesh is weak. Anyone… But who will lead the way? Who will proclaim the fullness of Christ in the presence of this weakness?’
