The purpose of writing anonymously is to enable me to be freer in how I write and what I write about. To be more honest about my parental failings and limitations and more open about the difficult topics facing parents.
Such as the dangers of children accessing pornography. We had a challenging Sunday recently (the evil one does tend to favour the Lord’s Day to test Christians, don’t you think?). It was a relatively short-lived incident but raised many issues for us as parents.
I’ll be frank: I let my guard down with my pre-teen son. He loves to use my smartphone to message his sister who’s at university.
Of course, we’d never even think about giving him a phone of his own yet, what with the associated dangers. Even when our older children became the proud owners of a mobile phone, we were just as proud that we were responsible enough to install a parental app (said children were equally disgusted).
The problem was, our young son still had access, unwittingly facilitated by me, to those dangers. Before long, he knew my password and he’d ask permission to use my phone to say hello or send funny pictures to his sister.
That Sunday afternoon, I picked up my phone and on the screen was a page of pornographic images. I felt nauseated with shock, along with the realisation that I had effectively allowed it to happen.
He hadn’t picked up my phone intending to search such material. His Dad and I had the evidence to prove this: it started with an innocent question in Google’s search engine about the human body, a simple act of curiosity. This led to further searches which eventually culminated in the porn images.
Parents, be warned. We know the dangers of technology, but do we really know the full extent of those dangers? That an innocuous Google search can escalate when a child or young person has access to technology and a screen?
A blank canvas
It is our God-given role to protect and educate our children. Whatever your view on sex education in schools, we must never let it replace our God-given responsibility to teach our children age-appropriate issues and topics at the right time. Crucially, this must be done within the context of Scriptural principles – because schools will not.
There is no place for English reserve with our children. Let’s be open and honest lest we cause them, by omission, to find out for themselves through other means if opportunity arises. We won’t then be able to reclaim the blank canvas which is ours on which to paint a Christian worldview of sex and relationships.
We hear increasingly about sexual abuse and young people groomed by older Christians. Sadly, I’ve witnessed it first-hand. I suspect the parents of many of these victims did not equip them with the knowledge to enable them to understand what was happening and why it was wrong. We seriously fail our children if we neglect this area.
And what of our son? I reassured him that if he was ever curious again he need only ask us. Children are naturally curious, just as you and I once were.
We learnt a hard lesson and we’re now on guard. But we are still limited in what we can do to protect. We may worry (as I do) at what our children may come across as they grow older and more independent. What will their school friends share with them? Will they be tempted to ‘look’ at inappropriate things?
Jesus exhorts us not to worry. Rather, we must entrust our children to our heavenly Father, the sovereign Protector. He who has entrusted our children into our care and responsibility is the same Lord who knows the minds and thoughts processes of our children and will protect them from harm, according to His will.
He can protect where we cannot. If we can embrace this truth and pray earnestly to Him to protect the minds and souls of our precious children each day, we can have a true measure of peace in the Lord.
