Is your pastor secretly needing your help?

A couple of Sundays ago, I had a tickle in my throat whilst preaching. Actually, it was more like a coughing fit that threatened to derail my sermon.

Most preachers have experienced something similar but, nowadays, when you cough in public you are far more aware of it. I could see that the congregation were sympathetic rather than threatened by my predicament, but my biggest concern was that they were distracted. I was afraid that my cough was drawing attention to myself and away from the text I was preaching. I wanted the congregation to listen to my words and not to me.

Who do we hear?

I have since wondered if that is even possible – that is, to listen to a sermon and not hear the preacher. Preachers want the congregation to go away with the compelling truth of the gospel ringing in their ears, not their own rhetoric or delivery. Like John the Baptist, we say: ‘He must increase, but I must decrease’ (John 3:30). We know that we are not the story. And yet when we minister the gospel, whether preaching, or leading a Bible study, or in any other form, we cannot leave our personality behind. For the most part that is a positive, because we aspire to be the same person in the pulpit as we are on the pavement.

But on the other hand, this means that spiritual ill heath in the pastor can be contagious. The Puritan Richard Baxter explained that his confused and cold heart led not only to confused and cold preaching, but to a confused and cold congregation.

Reluctant to be cared for

My realisation is that it is not simply that pastors need to be pastored, which I hope is undeniable, but that one significant reason why we do not seek help for our spiritual dryness is that we do not wish to be the centre of attention. It is not the only factor, but it means that when we most need shepherding we are most reluctant to receive it. Since neither pastors nor their congregation set out with this aim, what can be done about it?

Here are some simple reminders of truths for both pastors and their flocks to start a conversation:

Ready to receive?

Pastors: we are fully aware of Paul’s instruction to ‘keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching’ (1 Tim. 4:16). In the past I think I have taken this to be solely about sin avoidance, and not making much of Christ and His people. How much do we make of the means of grace for ourselves? Are we only ever teaching, and never taught by others in our churches, e.g. in a small group setting? Do we fight the battle in our hearts on a Sunday to engage in worship rather than obsess over the shortages in our serving teams? Ask yourselves, who regularly pastors you and brings the truth of your identity in Christ to bear in your life? Ask that question before the warning lights start to flash on your dashboard, as David Murray says in his book Reset.

Ready to help?

Congregations: your pastors need to be pastored. We need your prayers; we need someone to consistently speak God’s truth into our lives with care and precision. Please recognise that we too are sinners saved and kept by the same grace that we preach. Talk to us about our spiritual health, about what is exciting us or challenging us in ministry and let that shape your prayers for us. If your church has elders, encourage them to regularly discuss this in elders’ meetings, and do not presume that another elder is doing this privately. Recent books like Lead by Paul Tripp and The Plurality Principle by Dave Harvey show that your pastor cannot do this alone; he needs a leadership community that is aware of their responsibilities to minister grace to him and the whole church.