Loving your Muslim neighbour

Many of us in the UK function individualistically.

The intense loneliness many have suffered through the pandemic speaks to the dangers of this, even as we value our freedom to make personal decisions and take individual responsibility for ourselves.

The idea of taking decisions about our lives as part of a group and for the benefit of the group, not just ourselves, may be incongruous in a Western cultural context. Yet this concept is at the very heart of sharing the good news and love of Jesus with the 2.1 billion1 people – around the world and here in the UK – who have very limited access to the gospel.

Following a collectivist, rather than an individualist mindset is also how many people groups function around the world, including a large proportion of Muslim cultures. This is a generalisation but provides us with a helpful framework. By nature, there are exceptions, and one should not create stereotypes or assumptions. We must continue to see the person in front of us.

Where individualist cultures focus on the ‘I’, collectivist cultures focus on the ‘we’. Business and family decisions are made together. It impacts how people are rewarded and judged by society. This collectivist culture has made lockdown particularly challenging for many of our Muslim friends and neighbours, restricted from seeing friends and family, far more intertwined in their lives than most Western families.

I was reminded of the differences in our cultures only the other day. That dreaded moment, my phone went off in a meeting. While I hung up immediately and apologised to my colleagues, friends and colleagues from Arab nations would invariably pick up the phone in the same situation. This isn’t rudeness but a reflection of the fact that a collectivist mentality often means they are focused on wider things and their wider group.

So how does knowledge of the collectivist mindset help us as we reach out to our Muslim friends and neighbours?

While one-to-ones are often the bread and butter of ministry for churches in the UK, this isn’t necessarily the best approach. Where you have Muslim neighbours, it is important to interact as a family with a family, rather than approaching individuals. You’re more likely to be known and trusted by the whole group and they are far less likely to respond negatively if a member of the family comes to faith. If you invite your Muslim friend, don’t be surprised if they bring a friend or family member along.

There is no silver bullet. As generations of Muslims grow up in the UK, each new generation faces a complex mix of British culture and that of previous generations. The collectivism of the first generation that moved to the UK, often meets with rebellion in the second generation, and the third generation may return to their roots or become increasingly Westernised. So, it is essential that we understand the personal stories of the the Muslims we meet and interact with.

Like a friend of mine, Andrew, who works in an area of London with a large Arab population. He made the decision to go to a Middle Eastern barber and got chatting to one of the barbers, Akam. They became friends and Andrew discovered Akam played in a football team, so he invited him into his home to watch the Euros. Akam began to share his story with Andrew and his wife, Harriet. He told them of his wife and children, back in his home country, who he had been forced to leave when he fled to escape conscription in a militia or the national army. In turn, they began to share their faith with him.

This isn’t a very dramatic story and that is exactly the point. Andrew wasn’t judgmental. Some will judge single Arab men who have emigrated to the UK who, like Akam, are fleeing in desperation not to be forced into bloodshed. He was intentional, he invested, he listened, and he shared. Knowledge of Muslim culture is helpful and important to equip us to take that first step to reach out to the Muslims around us. Now we need to pray, be intentional and take that step.

Alan Hallmart has worked with OM, amongst Muslims, for over 40 years. He has served in Turkey, The Middle East and presently job shares with his wife, supporting church planting teams around the world while based in the UK. He has been involved in training teams to use ‘Discovery Bible Studies’ that are designed for groups.