Relationship or religion: what do we really want for our Muslim friends and neighbours?

I have written before about what it looks like to share Christ with your Muslim friends and neighbours, to invite them to follow Jesus. But what happens next?

What does it mean for someone from a Muslim background to choose to follow Christ? The answer to that question starts with what they have been invited to. Have they been invited into a relationship or a religion?

Culture

Islam is a set of beliefs but, much like Christianity in the West, it is also a culture. We can make the mistake of asking Muslims to leave their culture and their community rather than inviting them into a relationship with Christ and with us. Just as many people are culturally Christian without following Christ, it is possible to be part of an Islamic culture without believing in the teachings of Muhammad. To be a Christian you don’t have to abandon cultural festivals in exchange for church attendance and Christmas, or think that prayer must look a certain way and commitment means to be on a church rota.

Drinking tea three times

There is a famous Afghan proverb which roughly translates as ‘You can’t talk until you have drunk tea three times’. In other words, you have to really know someone before you are willing to open up to them, to spend time with them before they have a voice in your community. It rings true for many of us, but is particularly reflective of Islamic cultures. They are relational. This emphasis on relationship is a key part of their identity. Family and community are at the heart of who they are.

The choice to follow Christ for many believers from a Muslim background often results in their estrangement from their families. But this is not the experience of every Muslim that chooses to follow Christ. Often as we build relationships with them we also find ourselves welcomed into their community.

Decided to follow Christ

Several years ago I received a message from a Middle Eastern man called Ahmed* who was interested in reading the Bible. We met in Trafalgar Square in a tiny Costa Coffee and talked about faith, life and our families. The next four years would find us talking in coffee shops all over London, where I addressed his questions about the Bible and pointed him to Christ. Then one day I received a phone call. He said he needed to speak to me urgently, and whether I could meet for a coffee? And in a coffee shop by Bromley station he told me he had made the decision to follow Christ. It was a truly wonderful moment.

Salt and light in the community

What I haven’t mentioned about Ahmed is that he was also an incredibly prominent member of his community, a patriarchal leader frequently called on to mediate in marriage disagreements and community disputes. So, what happened after he decided to follow Christ? It would be a lie to say it was easy, but he was honest about his faith and managed to continue in his role as an active member of his community. Whilst his status means that he isn’t a typical example, it is revealing that he continued to be held in high esteem by his community. Ahmed managed to remain a part of his culture whilst also having a relationship with Christ.

Becoming a Christian is one of the biggest identity changes imaginable. But that does not make us carbon copies of each other. The picture in Revelation is one of glorious diversity, each ‘tribe and tongue and nation’ gathered around the throne. We are not called to extract people from their culture and their community. Indeed, how can believers be expected to be salt and light in a community if they are no longer part of it?

God pursued relationship with us to the point of coming to earth Himself. He welcomed us into His heavenly family, but didn’t immediately remove us from our communities on earth. Jesus was interested in people’s hearts and was not put off by their culture or religious practices. He was willing to give up everything to welcome us into His family. In our ministry to Muslims we must, like Christ, invite them to a relationship, not a religion.

*Not his real name for security reasons.