How do you combat FOMO?

I’m at the embarrassing age where I often need to Google the texting acronyms my student son uses. (Do you know what CMB or AFAIK mean?)

The best one I have come across is FOMO – the fear of missing out. It is this perception that others are having more fun, living better lives, or experiencing better things than we are. Unfortunately, it is not just a trait I recognise in my teenagers. When I look at Facebook and see happy families enjoying holidays in the sun I sometimes feel myself turning an unattractive shade of green. More worryingly still, I recognise FOMO in my spiritual life. When life is hard I’m tempted to look at other Christians enjoying an apparently suffering-free life and to remind God, ‘That’s not fair!’

Of course, God never promised life would be easy or that we would all be allotted equal amounts of suffering. When Jesus reinstated Peter after his betrayal and told him he would die for his faith, Peter’s immediate reaction was to look over at the disciple John and ask: ‘“Lord, what about him?” Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me”’ (John 21:21-22). Like Peter, I can hear Jesus’ words ringing in my ears: ‘What is that to you?’ The Lord couldn’t have been any clearer. We are called to obey Him, where He has placed us, with our unique set of joys and challenges, without comparing our lives with others.

The writer to the Hebrews calls us to this same pursuit of single-minded obedience: ‘Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus’ (Heb. 12:1-2). We may all be running the same spiritual race but we each have our own lanes. No-one else can run the race God has set for you. You may occasionally wish you were running someone else’s race, but God will equip you for all that He has planned for you, His grace will be your daily portion and strength. God knows every contour of your individual journey because He has marked out the course, His Spirit goes with you and His Son has gone ahead of you.

So, how do we combat FOMO?

‘Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart’ (Heb.12:3). The remedy for my weary heart and my envious eye is to ‘consider him’. The writer had already told us to run ‘fixing our eyes on Jesus’. The idea is not the occasional glance, but a steady focus for the long haul. In particular we are to consider Jesus’ perseverance in the face of suffering. When I think of what He endured to save me, then the cost of my faithful obedience seems pitifully small. When I ‘consider him’ now seated at the right hand of the throne of God, the spiritual blessings I have in Christ (Eph. 1:3) and the full inheritance I will one day enjoy (1 Peter 1:4) I see how pointless it is to ask: ‘Lord, what about him?’ Ultimately, no believer will miss out.

‘How can I envy my brother or sister? Do they have any more of God than I do? Has Christ shed more blood for them than for me? Is my salvation any less complete than theirs? Are the royal robes I wear any less glorious? Are they heading to any greater city? Will they gaze upon a more lovely Saviour?’ (Matt Searles, Be Still ).