How can pastors go the distance?

It was my tenth anniversary in my current pastorate, and I was given a three-month sabbatical.

When contemplating potential sabbatical projects my thoughts went to surviving and thriving in pastoral ministry over the long haul, and then I hatched a plan.

Been there, done it!

What better than to chat with other pastors who’ve done what I hope to do? I’d arrange to meet one at a time with 12 men, all of whom have spent at least 20 years in a single church. They would all be conservative evangelicals, but represent a variety of contexts. I would mine them for all the wisdom I could get out of them, and hopefully the church I serve would benefit as a result.

I’m deeply grateful to John Benton, George Curry, Ray Evans, Graham Heaps, Bill James, Derek Lamont, David Meredith, Peter Milsom, Phil Swann, Colin Tamplin, Meirion Thomas and Paul Watts for their willingness to get involved. This article owes more to them than to me, as it’s based on what they so kindly shared. That said, what follows is the result of my own subsequent reflections, and it shouldn’t be assumed that any of the ‘12 Wise Men’ necessarily agree with any given point.

Walking with the Lord

We never outgrow the children’s chorus, ‘Read your Bible, pray every day, and you’ll grow, grow, grow.’ For some it’s always first thing in the morning, for others the time is more flexible. Many find reading the whole Bible every year helpful, and a Psalm each day. How about listening to God’s word being read when you’re struggling to read it yourself?

An old-school prayer diary or an app like PrayerMate can help, and cultivating a personal interest and involvement in world mission avoids being too parochial. It’s vital to keep going, even when you feel like a failure. Don’t be afraid of feeling needy, but let it drive you to the Lord. And be careful that your weekly day off doesn’t become a day off from spending time with God.

Wife and family

Pastors and their wives should be ‘in it together’. This will look different for different couples in different contexts, but it’s vital that each ministry couple functions as a team. Our marriages must be grace-driven not guilt-driven. We should want our wives to flourish, which means giving them space to do so and encouraging them to pursue their interests. We mustn’t allow them to be forced into a mould.

Even the busiest pastors often have very flexible schedules, so make the most of that. Days off and holidays are opportunities to spend more time with our families, and ‘do what you’re doing!’ It’s possible to be doing one thing while our minds and hearts are somewhere else. We need to be present and engaged. And daily family worship can be such a blessing. It may often be chaotic, but better something than nothing.

Fellow leaders

We mustn’t expect too much of our fellow church leaders, and should do our best to think from their perspectives. It’s good to appoint leaders with varied opinions, and wide-ranging discussion should be facilitated. We must exhibit the same willingness to give ground and go with other peoples’ ideas that we expect of them. Sometimes we’ll need to be firm, but always willing to bend over backwards to make things work.

Work hard at building genuine friendships with and between your fellow church leaders, and your wives. Share meals together and have days away. Each leader will be closer to some than others, and that’s fine. Church leaders should be more like fathers in a home than managers in a business. Pray together more and you may need to talk less.

Developing as preachers

We should never be content with our preaching, and grow in our own preaching by hearing others preach. A commitment to expository preaching with contemporary application helps maintain freshness, but topical sermons are also necessary, especially on current issues, adding variety to the mix. Preach to the people in front of you, not another imaginary congregation.

Most are preaching shorter sermons than a generation ago, typically around half-an-hour, and many are doing shorter series too. Intelligibility and accessibility are vital, and it’s better that people hear less but benefit from it than that they hear more and don’t. It’s good to be regularly in the Gospels, and Christ should be front and centre every time. Be nuanced where Scripture is nuanced, and forthright where it’s forthright.

Managing change

The Christian life is all about change, and change is essential in church life, but it’s difficult. Most people are comfortable with what’s familiar, so naturally change-resistant. Some will be against every proposed change, and mustn’t be allowed to paralyse a church. It’s relatively easy to impose change, but we should be aiming to convince people and genuinely take them with us. Remember the US Navy Seals, ‘Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast.’

All change should be Bible-shaped and gospel-driven. Time and again God’s word gives us walls outside of which we shouldn’t go, but within those walls are rooms, with different Christians and churches choosing to position themselves in different parts of those rooms. If people are clear about where the walls are, then they will generally be less phased by being asked to move to a different part of the room.

Successes and failures

In a long pastorate it’s all too easy either to become too comfortable and lose your edge, or burn out and lose your enthusiasm. It can be hard being a constant in the midst of change, dealing with the same things over and over, and regularly disabusing people of their perceived right to have church in their own image, without them feeling got at. You’ll often feel frustrated with yourself, others, the progress of the gospel and the pace of change.

The men I spoke to had many regrets. Such as being too busy to be a good husband and father, making assumptions about people, talking too much and listening too little, being too slow to take good advice, too influenced by certain people’s opinions and taking differences too personally. Although, as one reminded me, failure is the back door to success and only Jesus got 10/10 all the time.

It was interesting to hear what men would prioritise if they had their time again. Keeping the main thing the main thing, and not majoring on minors. Working hard at communicating well. Involving women in pastoral care within a complementarian framework. Moving from rotas to teams. Not allowing sideways criticism. Attending fraternals and conferences, and having a three-week holiday every year.

Moving on

Eventually it will be time to move on. You may face the question ‘Should I stay or should I go?’ It’s surely about maximising your gospel usefulness. Long pastorates are often a good thing, but they can go on too long. After a time, churches can benefit from fresh leadership and pastors from a fresh challenge. One suggested that your mid-50s is a key decision time. Where would your last decade or so of full-time ministry be best spent? And when retirement beckons, it can be good to cultivate a focus for retirement in advance.

The last question I asked each of my ‘12 Wise Men’ was this: ‘If you could say just one thing to me, ten years into my current pastorate, then what would it be?’ Most common were things like ‘Keep going’ and ‘Don’t quit’. One emphasised that it’s all about the glory of God, and another majored on the grace of God in Christ – every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. My last interviewee left me with this: ‘Focus on the joys of ministry – it has its sorrows, but focus on the joys.’