God is concerned about safety and protection. He is a refuge: a place of safety where we can be protected from danger, where we can hide and feel safe from harm. God is a shield of protection, a rock to hide behind, a wing to take shelter beneath, a father in whose arms we are safely embraced.
One day we will be safe forever in Christ from all threats and dangers. But, even now, God is concerned that His church is a place of care and growth, safe from harmful words and actions (think James, for example, and warnings against favouritism, gossip, in-fighting and anger).
In our pastoral care we want to reflect that safety. None of us wants to do harm. Instead, we want to offer help, protection and relief. We want to be safe and trustworthy carers of others. How can we grow in offering safe care?
Recognising our hearts
Bringing our motives before the Lord is a wise place to start. Do we see in ourselves a temptation to pull back from giving people the care they need? Being overly careful might stem from fear or inadequacy and lead to backing off. And yet we don’t want to weaken God’s call for us all to care for one another in whatever struggle (2 Cor. 1:3-5). Nor must we muzzle God’s words that speak with richness and relevance, even to life’s deepest hurts. Our hearts can be held back by fear in the face of complicated need.
Or, are we in danger of over-reaching in our care? We can slip into a sense of over-responsibility as we help. We take on more than we are able to handle – a more complex struggle than we have the experience or training to deal with. Our hearts can be blinded by eagerness in the face of complicated need.
Recognising opportunities to widen the embrace of safety
Complicated pastoral need is an opportunity – not for overstepping, nor for retreating, but for us to see God’s safe embrace of care widen and to be part of a broader circle of help. In what situations might this be needed?
• Risk to self or others. For example, a severe depression can involve experiences of hopelessness, with suicidal risk assessment becoming a priority. Or a home where conflict involves aggression will need intervention to ensure the safety of all the family.
• Struggles that involve medical need. Clearer examples might be confusion, bizarre symptoms, or eating problems where our physiology is involved. But we are embodied souls where even common pastoral struggles can have a physical aspect which would benefit from assessment and sometimes treatment.
• Complicated presentations. Mostly pastoral problems appear within reach of our knowledge and experience. But at other times, their duration, intensity or the influence of other factors – our bodies, other people, troublesome circumstances – can make a pastoral problem seem overwhelming to those giving help. An example would be the various forms of deeper suffering we call trauma. We can easily feel stuck or out of our depth.
The specific sources of further help will depend on the need. Risk to self or others will need urgent discussion with those who have experience and know how to source assessment, from healthcare or police. Medical need will usually require a General Practitioner’s involvement. Where mental health care has been involved, there is wisdom in working with their continuing input. God’s arms of safe care are wide with common grace.
Recognising our weakness
As carers we too are needy. As we’ve seen, we have limitations. We seek to grow in the wisdom that offers safe care. We need the wisdom of other experienced carers in our church family. We need oversight of our care for others, and indeed care for own souls. Yet despite our best efforts, we are poor in spirit and our care can never be perfect. May God give us humility and remind us that His safe embrace is wide enough for us as well.
