Building a grace-infused small group

The local church is designed to be a diverse place. One where people of different ethnicities, languages, personalities, education, and experience can do life together under the lordship of Christ.

There is a beauty in that diversity – it’s a little foretaste of the heavenly banquet – but it can make for some complexity along the way.

Imagine an average small-group Bible study. In it you might have someone who is very expressive with their emotions, regularly moved to tears by the beauty of the Lord or the waywardness of this fallen world. Maybe you also have someone who overflows with praise, so confident are they in the Lord’s goodness. There could be someone else who loves to ask questions which probe the hearts, the motivations, of fellow group members. And yet another person who has been wounded in the past by gossip and is determined not to share anything personal with those around.

What about that member, who has grown up thinking it’s perfectly normal to chat openly about struggles with sin. Or the other individual who has grown up believing that it’s shameful to even begin to utter such things.

The challenges of diversity

There’s plenty of scope for discord here. The expressive ones risk being labelled brash or unstable by those who would like to keep things quiet. The quiet ones risk being seen as repressed and unwilling to share lives by those who are keen to go deep. The ones who talk about sin risk being seen as the ungodly ones, even though those who keep their lives under wraps might be going even more astray. There’s potential for the group to pull apart as they study, pray and live out the life of grace day by day.

But there is a different way. One rooted deeply in Philippians 2. One which values others above ourselves (v3).

A grace-infused group will see the tender heart of Christ – who Himself wept over Jerusalem – in the one that weeps at a world going astray. They will want to rejoice with the one who is rejoicing and weep with the one who weeps. A sacrificial group will be willing to be challenged by the one who echoes James in knowing that everything that we display on the surface is rooted in what is going on in our hearts. But they will show equal patience and compassion to the one who has been hurt and wonders if it might be too risky to open out again. A united group will see the maturity and wisdom displayed by bringing dark things into the light, as David did in Psalm 51, but know that groups are not the best place for everyone to acknowledge the battles they face – one-to-one conversations are sometimes a better way.

How can groups get there? Mainly by reflecting on the humility of Christ. There are times when it is right to pray that others will change to be more like Christ, maybe talk about that change too – there will also be many times when it is right to ask the Lord to change us instead. But until that change happens His humility can enable us to love one another anyway. After all, if He sacrificed so much for us, then surely we can sacrifice personal preferences for those He came to save. If we truly believe that we are sinners in need of a Saviour, then surely we can acknowledge that our preferred way of doing things often won’t be the best way. If we know we are dependent on Him for our place in His kingdom then we will know there is no place for looking down on others. If we see the depth of love He has for our brothers and sisters in Christ then why wouldn’t we want them to flourish in their faith, even if their expressions are different to ours.

As we do that, unity and love flourishes. We look to the interests of others and, rather than compromise, a maturity develops and a sense of joy can become complete.