The problem with empathy

Empathy is getting a bad press. One Christian writer, Allie Beth Stuckey, has a new book called Toxic Empathy, while Joe Rigney describes empathy as a sin. Even in the realm of secular commentators, Gad Saad’s new book is Suicidal Empathy. So what’s the problem with empathy, and how is it different to sympathy?

We all understand the importance of sympathy, that is an understanding of the situation and experience of someone, especially when they are enduring trials. It is a great consolation to have a sympathetic high priest in the Lord Jesus Christ who can sympathise with us in our weakness not just because as God He understands us completely, but also because He took flesh and has entered into human experience Himself and endured temptation. It is a sign of love and care to sympathise with those around us who are struggling in a variety of ways.

Empathy, however, goes one step further. It is to identify with someone’s feelings and point of view. It is sharing their feelings and emotions ‘as if they were our own’. We then see things from their viewpoint. This is the problem with empathy, because in our culture today ‘compassion’ is expressed as the affirmation of someone’s experience without challenge or criticism. Clearly the Lord Jesus Christ can be sympathetic, but He cannot be empathetic in the sense of identifying with our sinful emotions and desires.