“Brilliant sermon – thank you”. “I really appreciate your ministry”. “You are so good at pastoral care”.
Let’s be honest, those phrases don’t happen every day, but it is a joy when they appear. Amid the heavy workloads, spinning plates, regular discouragements, and deep awareness of our own limitations, most of us in ministry (paid or unpaid) appreciate a bit of praise. A modern-day Barnabas can make a real difference to our day. They can spur us on. Give us courage to persevere.
But there can be snares in encouragement. This beautiful “dew of blessing” can be twisted into something ugly in our wayward hearts. For some of us, the tendency can be to recoil, to feel awkward about the kindness others want to shower upon us as if their words are somehow misplaced. “Imposter syndrome” can raise its head as present praise mingles with past pain, and we can feel even more at sea than before the encouragement was received.
For others of us, the temptation to become “puffed up” can begin to grow. We begin to believe in our gifts, our wisdom, our leadership. If left unchecked, we can move from enjoying the praise of others to believing it should be given regularly, maybe even demanding praise and encouragement as if it were our right rather than a precious gift.
So, how do we handle encouragement wisely? Three simple steps might help along the way:
Take it
If the Lord has enabled us to do something well, then let’s allow our hearts to be encouraged. A cursory scan of the New Testament letters should give us ground to know one Christian encouraging another is good. John in his third letter writes: “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth” (v.4) and “you are faithful in what you are doing for your brothers and sisters” (v.5). We don’t need to be perfect to receive praise (and if there are voices from the past saying otherwise, that’s worth talking through with someone wise). If we have done something well and another person has noted it, there is much to be grateful for.
Turn it
Grateful is a key word. What we have done has been down to the gifts God has given us – in the strength God has given us – with the opportunities that God has given us. It is right to be encouraged when people notice the Lord’s work in and through us, but it is ultimately the Lord’s work. In 3 John, the apostle noted that the good things done by the church all came about because they were faithfully walking in the truth (v.3). Acknowledging that before God and before others is right – not in a fake “God is good” (whilst secretly thinking we’re great) kind of way but in a heartfelt turning to our creator and acknowledging that God is our all and we can do nothing without Him.
Track it
One verse that strikes terror into my heart every time I read it is 3 John, verse 9. What is Diotrephes remembered for? His love of being first. What a reputation to have for the past 2,000 years! If the praise and encouragement of others is leading us in that direction – even a tiny step towards pride and arrogance – then we need to track that temptation and sink to our knees in repentance. It is ugly to see people getting puffed up by the words of others.
Our call is not to shun praise but to have it in absolute perspective, never allowing ourselves to think of ourselves more highly than we ought. And, if we take those steps, it is likely that the encouragement that we receive will indeed spur us on to love and good works rather than in any other direction. And, if people see us being spurred on in Christlikeness and godly action, then maybe – just maybe – they might be spurred on to encourage us even more.
