It takes spiritual discipline to be masters of our diaries today

The sentiments of Oliver Rice’s article (en April), encouraging church members to be punctual, will resonate with any pastor.

I have lost track of the number of Sundays that my wife has turned to me at 10:31am as the service begins and whispered: “Where is everyone?” The answer is that they’re on their way. By 10:35am the numbers have doubled. By 10:40am almost everyone is there. The problem is, we started at 10:30am.

It’s mildly embarrassing to have to apologise to newcomers, who of course are never late: “It may feel like there’s no one here this morning, but don’t worry, they’ll stream in just after the service starts!” And they always do.

Trying all the tricks

As a church we’ve tried all the tricks to change people’s behaviour. We serve coffee before the service starts. We start on time no matter what. We have a countdown on the screen, which helps a little bit. We even had a sermon series earlier this year looking at how we welcome one another. As part of that, we encouraged people to respond to what they were hearing with practical applications submitted on a public online Padlet board. I couldn’t believe it when several people without prompting highlighted the issue of their own lateness, and how they could demonstrate real love by arriving on time. The following week I pointed this out. “It’s not me saying this, it’s you. It makes such a difference. We are missed when we aren’t here. Engage in the ministry of showing up on time.” And people did. For about two weeks. And then they reverted to type.

It strikes me that the issue for most of our latecomers is not that they don’t understand why being on time matters. As Oliver noted in his article, most of us are well used to punctuality in other areas of our lives. I suspect, however, that there are a range of issues coming together on a Sunday morning that make the issue even worse.

For some, it’s cultural. Obsession with time is a Western thing. Many years ago as an ordinand I was part of a black majority church in London. The service regularly started half an hour later than advertised and still people walked in late. I asked the GMH pastor about this and he just laughed. “What’s the rush?” he said.

For others, however, there are different issues. Many are families. Perhaps those of us who don’t, or no longer, have young children forget the general chaos that goes with this. Years ago Michael McIntyre had a segment in one of his shows about leaving the house before and after having children. Before children: you make the decision to leave the house, and ten seconds later you’re driving away in the car. After children: you make the decision to leave the house, and there follows 25 minutes of bargaining, cajoling and general weeping and gnashing of teeth, and then finally you drive away in the car. Yes, these same families have to get to school and work on time during the week. They probably manage that, just about, although even then the days without stress or tears may well be in the minority. By the weekend, they’re exhausted. You would think it’s easier to leave the house two or three hours after you would in the week, but then you oversleep, and there’s an argument over a favourite toy, and suddenly the best intentions about arriving at church early are ruined once again. On top of this, I suspect, is also a desire for church not to be yet another chore that must be endured like school and work. Grace makes us relax. Is that bad? Yes and no.

Solutions?

What is the solution to this? I would suggest it’s a spiritual issue that requires a gospel solution. The reason for being on time is that we want to love one another as Christ has loved us. Seeing it like this helps us put lateness in perspective. Should we be excusing it? No. But neither should we be excusing disapproving looks at the door from welcomers, locking people out once the service starts, or publicly humiliating latecomers from the front – all of which I’ve personally experienced in the past. Don’t presume you know why this family are late yet again. Have you asked them how they are? Do they know that you love them enough that they can actually answer that question truthfully?

John Wesley said that “the last part of a man to be converted is his wallet”. In Hampstead, where I serve, I observe that isn’t actually quite true. There are always ways of making more money, in principle. But rich or poor, all of us have the same number of hours in the week. Here, given half a chance, people often prefer to pay for something than give their time. John Stott apparently was asked how he found time to do all he did, and he replied: “I don’t find time; I make time.”

It takes spiritual discipline to be masters of our diaries and routines, not subject to them, in order that our diaries may be subject to Christ. It is probably only on that level that the problem of lateness for church will ever be solved. If, therefore, the last part of a 21st-century Londoner to be converted is actually their diary, we should still take heart. God in Christ gave not just His time but His whole self for us. A church that is shaped more and more by that love will be a church people want to be on time for.