Celebrating Friendship with 'Friendsentine'

In the past, my husband, friends, and I have hosted a special dinner called 'Friendsentine.'

This event celebrates the filial kind of love, rather than the romantic love traditionally associated with Valentine's Day.

There are various versions like 'Palentine's' and 'Galentine's,' but we chose to focus on the richness of friendship with ‘Friendsentine.' I thought it would be fun to share some of our experiences and ideas, hoping you can take inspiration and make it your own for a celebration with your local friends this year.

So what does a Friendsentine dinner look like? Is it just a regular dinner with friends? For us, it’s a celebration of friendship. We put in extra effort, thinking carefully about what kind of food would bring joy and encouragement to everyone.

We invite a diverse group of people from different walks of life, which adds to the fun. While the invites are casual, we still aim to serve nice food—not to show off my cooking skills (which I am working at so I can ‘bless not impress'—indeed, I’m no Mary Berry), but to create a lovely experience for our friends.

We like to add little touches like bunting or a delightful dessert, and if you’re crafty, this is your chance to shine.

What sets this dinner apart from a typical gathering is the intentionality behind it. We come together to celebrate and share reflections, often incorporating creative elements. Between the main course and dessert, we like to do something special, whether it’s a small activity or a themed moment, making each year unique.

When it comes to sharing moments during gatherings, one idea is to focus on the theme of (surprise surprise) friendship, for example passing around the ‘microphone’ to share a special memory or a story about a cherished friendship. This could be done in about a minute per person, so whether you have five or 15 guests, you can gauge how long it will take and set expectations appropriately.

This approach allows everyone to have a moment in the spotlight, especially in larger groups where it’s easy for conversations to overlap and some may struggle to speak up. Introverts are loved by being given the time to think ahead and extraverts are loved by being encouraged to share. By giving everyone a chance to speak, you create a space for deeper conversations that touch on meaningful experiences, reflections, or even objects that hold significance in their friendships.

I recently came across the statistic in Andy Crouch’s ‘The Tech-Wise Family’ that says it typically takes 7 minutes for a conversation to get going. Having some deeper threads to pick up on over pud is a worthwhile shout.

Back to the ‘creative element.' You might consider asking guests to share a poem, especially if you have members of a writing group among your guests, or simply prompt them to talk about their first childhood best friend if they feel as creative as a teaspoon.

Another idea could be to introduce an object that represents a special relationship from their past. Tailor the activity to suit your group’s vibe, ensuring it feels comfortable and engaging rather than overly artistic, which might not resonate with everyone.

The upshot is that we can enjoy the good gift of meaningful friendship with fellow believers—a gift only made possible through the death and resurrection of Jesus. And to those not yet walking with Jesus in their lives, we hold out both a beautiful vision of being deeply known and loved and a chance to explore gospel themes since we’re already talking meaningfully and deeply over food as, dare I say, did Jesus.

To finish, here are some cracking quotes shared with me by a friend when I was pulling this piece together, based on a previous video I made for the Passion For Evangelism YouTube channel.

I leave you with these thoughtful words from one of my favourite authors:

'Friendship at its best is just as powerful as any other love,' but 'we will only gain the full good of this gift if we are also ready for the risk and vulnerability of opening our hearts.' - Jesus Through the Eyes of Women, Rebecca McLaughlin

'In modern Western culture, we are primed to think of friendship as a nice-to-have, while sexual and romantic love and parent-child love are vital to our thriving. But Jesus flips this script. Instead of telling His disciples that they must get married and have children, Jesus tells His followers that they must love each other, even to the point of death. When Jesus said there was no greater love than laying down one’s life for one’s friends, He wasn’t being hyperbolic or naïve. Instead, He was inscribing the good news of His unfathomable love for us onto Christian friendship with indelible ink.' - No Greater Love: A Biblical Vision for Friendship, Rebecca McLaughlin

This article is written by Rachel Redeemed, part of the Passion for Evangelism network. PfE exists to empower, encourage, and equip women to share the good news of Jesus with God-given confidence and creativity.