Crossing cultures as an introvert

A common concern around welcoming people from different cultures into the local church is that it is impossible for introverts. I remember one person saying, 'I find it hard enough to speak to my friends, let alone to strangers!'

It’s part of a bigger fear among Christians that we just don’t have what it takes to reach out to those who are different from us. What do we do when we want to communicate across cultural differences, but the bar just seems too high?

I met a man a couple of years ago at a conference, who had had a dramatic conversion. I’ll call him Dave. In his own words, he had been addicted to 'sex, drugs and rock and roll.' He was the life of every party and had a burgeoning contacts list. But the Holy Spirit prompted him that something was not right and he ended up walking into a local church where, after some months, he came to faith Christ. I asked him what it was about the church that most helped him in his journey towards Christ. The first thing he said was: 'Without a doubt it was Jeff*.'

I knew Jeff! And frankly it was hard to imagine how these two had connected so well.

The Jeff I knew was the exact opposite of 'sex drugs and rock and roll.' He was more organ music than rock music and even avoided prescription medication if he could! He was a guy who was happy slipping leaflets in Bibles before the service and then staying out of the way. In my experience, it was sometimes difficult to get more than two words out of him. I was intrigued. What had he done that had particularly helped Dave?

Dave said, 'he made an effort to spend time with me at church. Now I think about it, he’s a man of few words, but he just stuck around and showed me that he cared.'

When I think about the impact that Jeff had on Dave, I see three practical principles at work. These principles are great for the person who feels like the bar is too high to connect with a cultural outsider.

1. First, he was committed to trying. Jeff found engaging with people harder than some. But he was convinced that part of his Christian calling was to try. And so there he was at church, week by week, trying in his own way to connect with others. The Lord brought Dave across his path, and in his kindness (and perhaps despite human expectations), Jeff was just what Dave needed.
2. Secondly, he understood that presence trumps performance. Dave didn’t want to be entertained. He had plenty of that in his life outside of church. What he experienced in Jeff was love. Someone willing to be near him even when they didn’t know what to say. Despite being a man of the world, Dave realised that what he experienced was other worldly. Someone, because of Christ, sought to move towards him instead of away from him.
3. Thirdly, he was willing to persevere with one person. As far as I know, Jeff wasn’t able to do this with every visitor who came into church. But he invested in the one person that the Lord had put in his path over a period of time.

Bottom line, you don’t need to be an extrovert or an expert. It may be that you need to be more creative about what your engagement looks like. For example, engaging deeply with one person instead of quickly with a crowd. It may be that your efforts are more planned than prolific. Budgeting enough time to rest even as you seek to reach out. Remember that with Dave, what made the difference was love covering a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8). Perhaps it could be the same for you.

^{*Name has been changed}