How good is your listening?

As a leader, do you listen? I hope so, as I think you really need to. But sadly, it’s a bit too easy not to listen and far too easy to get into the habit of not listening.

There’s lots of listening we should be doing. Listening to the Lord through his Word. Listening to the world in which we live. Listening to those in authority over us. Listening to our spouses and children when they tell us they’ve forgotten who we are… I’d like to look at three other areas of listening where we may just be getting slightly deaf.

The past

First, listen to the past. This would apply perhaps especially if you’re new to a job. You’re the new pastor or vicar, and most of us in that situation want to know about the past and would wisely ask what changes could be made and when?

When starting a new job as a vicar, I once asked an old, wise vicar friend how fast he would go in terms of changing things. He replied: “You will be enough change in the first year, so don’t change anything else!” Did I listen? Well, mostly, yes! But my point is this – we would be wise to find out about the past and seek to understand history. And that means listening.

A lot of difficulties could have been avoided if new ministers had listened better to history.

Your preaching

Second, listen to your preaching. It’ll probably be sobering, and I’d be worried if you simply thought, “Wow, I am… good!”

These days, it should be pretty easy to listen or watch yourself back. Not every week, but regularly, and with a humble attitude of, “How can I improve?” “Where am I getting slack?” “Was I as clear as I could be?” “Did I use illustrations that hit the nail on the head?” “Did I apply it properly, or was it just a nod in that direction at the end?” And then pick out one or two things you can work on over the next month, and ask someone you trust if you’ve improved in those areas.

Your people

Third, listen to your people. Have you discerned who in your church family you really want and need to listen to? (Of course, in a difficult situation, there may only be a couple of people who you really trust. Or maybe not even that, so you’ll be praying your socks off that the Lord will give you some "allies.")

As you listen, that means listening hard, taking on board what they’re saying, and making changes as a result. And that may well mean you taking the initiative to ask for their feedback and comments. You are not an island.

Some ministers, though, behave as if that is exactly what they are. An island, surrounded with rocky outcrops so no one can get anywhere near. And what happens on those sort of coasts? Yes, shipwrecks.

When I was a vicar, we always reviewed the leading of services and preaching in our staff meetings, including my leading and preaching. I hope and think that I’m a slightly better leader as a result, painful (and sometimes awkward!), though it was at times. But then there’s no point in inviting feedback if you’re not going to listen…

So what’s your reputation within your church? A leader who listens? Really listens?