Sharing my faith with friendship, patience, and coffee

Mocha. Black coffee. Milky coffee. Latte. Latte with oat milk. While my coffee preferences have changed over the years, one thing that has not changed is my love for coffee! And while my love for sharing the good news of Jesus Christ has not changed either, I have definitely changed in how I share my faith.

As an extrovert, I love to meet new people. Not to build on the stereotype, but I am also an American living in the UK. I love getting to know people and building friendships, and in God’s kindness sometimes these overlap with my love for coffee.

Listening before speaking

A few years ago, I met a young woman working at a local coffee shop who was friendly, intelligent, and open to conversation. Our friendship continued online where we were able to comment on each other’s posts about books we’ve read, etc.

After seeing one post about a book she read, I agreed to read the book and then meet up to discuss it. Although the book mainly presented the author’s atheist beliefs, I found it interesting and thought-provoking. Of course, this wasn’t the usual “I give my non-believing friend some Christian literature and ask her to read it” approach. It was quite the opposite.

We did in fact meet up, and we had a very open and interesting conversation about the book, our own beliefs and what was happening in our lives.

She moved away but we have continued our friendship and even met up once when she was back on holiday. I was also able to share a review of the book written by a pastor friend.

My mocha drinking self of many years ago might have been uncomfortable with this arrangement because I felt like I should be asking all of the questions and be in control of the conversation. The idea that I could genuinely care for a person whose beliefs were so different from mine was very foreign to me!

In addition to my own preconceptions about evangelism, there was the fear that many people in their 20s are too progressive to listen to other points of view. I found this to be quite untrue in my friend.

She not only listened but respected my views on many different hot-button issues. What a breath of fresh air! I have a lot of hope for this friendship and many others.

Honest friendship, clear faith

Pursuing friendships like this one has helped me focus more on the person, rather than forcing a message onto someone who is not interested.

The milky-coffee-drinking version of me might have been tempted to begin a friendship without mentioning Jesus, only to introduce Him to the conversation later—when it felt easier. This bait-and-switch delivery never really worked and was probably a bit deceitful.

Perhaps it’s fuelled by my new love for oat milk lattes (just a preference, not an allergy, Starbucks barista), but my hope and prayer is to continue building friendships with people of different beliefs and worldviews.

My friend and I are just beginning a new book, one chosen by me this time. My prayer is that it will lead to more helpful conversations, especially about the gospel.

I care about this friend and would love to see her come to Christ. Who knows, maybe I’ll be drinking my coffee differently by then?

This article is written by Marcia McLean, part of the Passion for Evangelism network. PfE exists to empower, encourage, and equip women to share the good news of Jesus with God-given confidence and creativity.