College principal shares mental health battle

Please note: This article contains reference to suicide.

Waverley Abbey's new College Principal has urged the church to offer better support during Mental Health Awareness Week (11–17 May), choosing to speak openly about his own mental health battles.

Caleb Nyanni described experiencing an "intense" period of depression as a student living in Birmingham, while holding leadership roles at an Elim congregation, volunteering in schools and completing a theology degree. Nyanni believes that "the expectations attached to being a male, Christian leader isolated him" and drove him "close to suicide during the early 2000s".

“As a young man in my early 20s, I didn’t want to admit my battles,” Nyanni said. “Mental health was scary to me – it was widely undervalued. There was stigma in the church, and I felt I couldn’t approach anyone. As a leader, I had to be bubbly – but inside I was shaking. I felt lonely in a crowd. I had panic attacks – but I was trying to be ‘a man’. My ego wouldn’t allow me to seek help. Nobody should have to go through that.”

Nyanni's story

Nyanni began to lose his hair and was diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome; he stopped eating. He then left Birmingham in March 2004. Nyanni's parents had recently returned to his birthplace, Ghana, and Nyanni admits he "didn't know where to turn".

"Fleeing" to London, Nyanni spent two weeks in the spare bedroom of a friend's flat where he closed the curtains, refused food, and prayed. “I went with my toothbrush and a rucksack," he said. "Truthfully, I didn’t expect to return to Birmingham – I wondered if I would survive at all... I felt loneliness, isolation, rejection and depression – it felt like I had nobody.”

“I felt like I had disappeared,” Nyanni said. “I sought God. I cried. I felt empty. It was like being in a trance.”

After three days of isolation, Nyanni said he "came to the end of his human strength" and "felt an overwhelming sense of peace". He now cites this experience as a turning point in his life and faith.

Nyanni described the experience: “I saw a radiant light and felt a presence sitting on my bed... I heard a voice telling me I was loved. Then I knelt down and felt God equipping me to be a leader. I suddenly had a deep sense of peace and belonging. It was a transformative experience.”

Returning to Birmingham, Nyanni completed his undergraduate degree in theology; he then went on to get a Master's and PhD.

Talking openly

Nyanni enrolled at Waverley Abbey College, reportedly one of the leading providers of Counselling and Chaplaincy for Christians in the UK. Having benefitted from therapy in his personal life, Nyanni went on to gain a foundation certificate in counselling. Therapy is a "God-given task" according to the father of two.

“I believe that a person can be deeply spiritual and profoundly depressed: the human soul is capable of holding both light and shadow at once and the church needs to acknowledge that," the former Dean of Studies and Programme Director at Birmingham Christian College said. He wants to encourage the church to have "more open" conversations about mental health.

He continued: "... I want to help church leaders become more aware of mental health. Even today, it’s widely refused and unacknowledged. With so many challenges facing younger generations, we have to remove stigma so that people... have somewhere to turn.”

Help and support

If you have been affected by issues raised in this article, the following resources can provide help and support:

• Text SHOUT to 85258 for a 24/7 text support service "for anyone struggling to cope, experiencing anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, or feeling overwhelmed", connecting you with a trained volunteer for "immediate, anonymous help". Shout's website: giveusashout.org
• Contact a Samaritan by calling 116 123, or by visiting Samaritans' website: www.samaritans.org. Its website says: "Get in Touch About Anything That’s Troubling You No Matter How Big or Small the Issue Is. We Support Anyone Who Needs Help. Whatever You're Going Through, Talk to Us Now."
• MIND mental health charity: www.mind.org.uk
• The NHS's Mental Health page, to find more information and support: www.nhs.uk/mental-health/