BAD THERAPY:
Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up
By Abigail Shrier
Swift Press. 320 pages. £20
ISBN 978 1 800 754 133
As an investigative journalist, Abigail Shrier began looking into the unintended (sometimes harmful) results of therapy for young people while researching her first book, Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing our Daughters.
This second book is wider in scope. At a time when so much attention is given to ‘gentle parenting’ (US) or ‘positive parenting’ (UK), when parents are told to focus on ensuring that children are happy and safe at all times, why do we see so many children and young people suffering anxiety and depression?
Shrier writes from an American perspective, but her concerns are relevant to the UK context. We may not be so far down the road of over-using therapeutic interventions as is the case in America, but we are on the same trajectory with regard to mental health concerns among children and young people.
Shrier shows commendable courage in being willing to challenge a culture where parents are (wrongly) told that exercising authority and discipline is damaging to children’s independence. From toddlerhood, children are presented with a confusing number of choices. Boundaries are negotiated. Parents cajole, plead, bribe, and often simply give in to the will of the child. Children are frustrated. Parents are frazzled. Many children start school having never learned to obey authority. Despairing teachers may refer disruptive pupils to ‘professionals’. Children may be medicated. Ultimately they may end up in therapy. Therapists often suggest that problems are likely caused by emotionally abusive parents, sowing suspicion of family members (nearly 30% of American adults have cut off contact from family members).
Shrier does support therapeutic interventions in some cases. But she argues that the prevailing ‘therapeutic mindset’ has the unintended consequence of paralysing natural resilience and making problems worse. In many American schools, Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) requires children to focus on their feelings. Continual questions such as: ‘How do you feel?’, ‘Are you happy at home?’, ‘What makes you unhappy at home?’, serve to implant negativity, discontent, and a suspicion of parental authority. She challenges the way that American children are continually surveyed for ‘well-being’. Routinely enquiring whether they engage in self-harm, use addictive substances, or contemplate suicide normalises unusual and destructive behaviour.
This book is an impassioned plea not to reject the importance of parental authority, not to embrace moral relativism, not to betray youngsters by removing all sense of personal moral responsibility. It is not written from a Christian viewpoint. Readers will not necessarily agree with all her conclusions. But it is an important critique of our current therapeutic culture. And it is a powerful reminder of the reality that life works best when following the Maker’s instructions.
