A man who underwent gender re-assignment surgery who subsequently became a Bible-believing Christian, called for more caution from medical and mental health services in gender clinics.
Peter Benjamin, 60, who served in the British Army, underwent surgery to remove his genitalia in 2015 at a private London hospital. For many years Benjamin had suffered from addiction to cross-dressing and alcohol, leading to depression and suicidal thoughts. Married three times, his first wife mistook his addiction for homosexuality, while his second wife encouraged him to cross dress – even going clothes shopping with him. In 2005 he married his third wife, whom he credits with bringing his life back on track. However in the wake of losing her to cancer in 2011 and overwhelmed by grief, he decided that he wanted to become a woman ‘full-time’ and begin identifying as ‘Victoria.’
No time to reflect
Desperate to speed up the process of changing gender, he became addicted to purchasing unregulated online hormones and began attending a transgender support group. In 2012, Mr Benjamin approached his GP declaring that he wanted to become a woman. Told to ‘live as a woman for a month’, he was then referred to a consultant psychiatrist. Despite the evidence of suicidal thoughts and mental health issues on his medical records, after just a one-hour appointment with a psychiatrist, Benjamin was told, that he had ‘no underlying medical condition’. He was automatically put on a private waiting list for a clinic in London. Subsequently, an endocrinologist at the clinic prescribed him with medication, which began the physically painful process of shrinking his testicles and lowering his testosterone levels. This led to muscle reduction across his body.
Benjamin was then seen by another psychiatrist who referred him to surgery through the NHS. The NHS then paid the £10,000 fee to move Benjamin back to a private clinic, rather than be fined a bigger sum for his waiting time going over the 18-week threshold. He then had the labiaplasty operation to remove his genitalia.
Deeper issues
Benjamin said: ‘I never thought cross-dressing would lead me to having an operation to become a woman. I had addictions, I was drinking heavily, and I was having suicidal thoughts, but at every appointment … I was encouraged to carry on the path to gender reassignment surgery. There was no caution or restraint.’
Saved
Benjamin continued: ‘[Initially] I was euphoric as I felt I could finally escape my depressed self. But very soon … I felt only deeper regret and unhappiness. Some mornings I would wake up and think “Fantastic I can go and put on these amazing clothes and be a woman”, but in reality I was thinking “There is something wrong, this isn’t right for me, but it’s too late, I’ve changed everything, it’s too late.”’
In 2017, with no follow-up psychiatry and drinking heavily, Benjamin had a nervous breakdown. At rock bottom, he turned to a local church for support and became a Bible-believing Christian. On Good Friday 2019, Benjamin decided that he was no longer going to be ‘Victoria’, and threw out all his dresses and wigs.
‘When I was a woman, I wasn’t free,’ he said. ‘Now I can just come out and be me. I’ve got God, I’ve got freedom and I am happy.’
Warning
Benjamin’s fascination with cross-dressing began as a ten-year-old, when he was taken to a drag queen show at a cabaret club while on holiday with his family.
‘When I hear of books being read to children in schools I see the same influence that led me to this harmful addiction. More must be done to protect our children, not to encourage them to pursue [this] destructive path. The Government can’t see what harm they are doing, and I appeal to them and the Department for Education to halt this influence in schools now.
‘Parents are allowing their children to be exposed to the transgender agenda as they think if they don’t allow it, their children will be depressed or become mentally ill. It’s not true. It wasn’t until I was exposed to men in dresses at cabaret shows that my mind went that way. My message from my experience is that the transgender life, even surgery itself, did not solve my problem and led me to misery, suicidal thoughts and depression.’
