They say that ‘behind every great man is a great woman’. However great women may not just be the reserve of great men. I think many average, ordinary and unknown men in pastoral ministry are blessed with the support of a great woman.
These wives are often the behind-the-scenes underpinning structure, the multi-tasking managers and the perpetual helpers in most ministries. Providing prayerful, encouraging and spurring support to husbands in the trenches, on the frontline of church life. Wouldn’t it be great if there was a way for churches to support these remarkable unsung heroines in their unseen work.
This is where I think a ministry wives’ conference or retreat can be a small token of massive appreciation that provides refreshment and reinvigoration in the work these women do alongside their husbands.
So why send her away?
Firstly, your pastor’s wife will benefit. Sitting under God’s word with time to reflect, chat through and process what she is hearing will be wonderfully refreshing and fruitful. This opportunity to take stock often results in re-entering family and church life with fresh vigour, fresh knowledge, and a closer relationship with the Lord Jesus.
Secondly, your pastor will benefit. A ministry wife whose own walk is revitalised by time away will be of great gain to her husband.
Thirdly, your church will benefit. Weariness is a great snare in ministry, getting stuck in a rut and going through the motions of dutiful service. A few days away meeting and making new friends will help immunise from ministry fatigue.
So what’s stopping her?
Firstly, she may feel she doesn’t deserve it. However, it must be remembered that most of the work of a pastor’s wife goes unseen and the ability to be truly honest amongst the church family about her stresses and struggles is not always easy. Having space and time away in a place she can be open with people who understand will be such a blessing and support to her.
Secondly, how will they manage without her? However, this is where the church as a family is such a wonderful thing. There are now new opportunities to serve and new opportunities to practically care for your pastor and his family.
Thirdly, how much? These conferences come at a price, but are sometimes subsidised. Could it be part of the church budget? Or could there be an opportunity for people in the church to give towards the cost?
What should you do with your pastor’s wife? You should definitely send her away.
