Dear Editor,
Ben Alltimes article, ‘The elephant in the playground’ January p.13), on how (en so many children from Christian homes succumb to peer pressure and give up their faith, is salutary but a little pessimistic. Our family was part of a church for many years where nearly all the children are still very much Christians, often friends and spouses, and who look back on growing up in their church with great affection and delight – they refer to going back to ‘the shire’ (borrowing from Tolkien). Now why?
The church culture was intentional about family and children, who were not a nuisance or expense, but a precious privilege for which there could only be deep gratitude and desperate prayer. The church services were long (Presbyterian) but hospitable to children, with children’s singing and imaginative Sunday School, and afterwards you often found your children being talked to by other church members.
Then there was a strong and confident Christian worldview taught and argued for at every opportunity. We understood that we lived in a culture that was secular but was impoverished by it – no religious bubble allowed. We knew that we are more than animals (contra philosophic materialism) and we insisted on objective truth (contra postmodern subjectivism). Nearly every sermon would have some apologetic reference. In Sunday School there were the usual Bible stories, but also an outline of the whole Bible and its main teaching, and a simple apologetics course for those in secondary school. In the amazing youth group, any question could be asked and any topic raised.
Spirituality was another key factor. Legalism and super-spirituality were avoided and we understood sanctification as being about becoming truly human, what God originally intended for us to be. It was often hard and always grace dependent, but it was really liberating and fulfilling. Being a Christian was never negative or dull or religious, but life affirming. God had given you gifts and was interested in sport, music, dance, acting, photography, your business idea, computers – everything – now, how can we best do all this stuff as Christians?
The last major blessing was the taught and practised commitment to the church community. There was wonderful hospitality, we were in and out of each other’s home with endless cheap and cheerful meals. Babies, dogs and weddings abounded. Mums were more at home. There were great church dances, mostly country dancing for all ages. In the summer there was the church camping weekend. Every Easter Monday there was the church walk, about 15 miles, which has to be led by a naval officer. Children loved it all and remember it all. We were quite socially mixed and probably too keen on the simple life style. This led to a certain caution on consumerism – ‘Let Mum shop, she’s good at it and after we have done the chickens, I want you to help me make a sledge. I got some old skis from a charity shop and there’s a pallet in the skip outside. Then we’ll go to the rec and play football, for money, 50p a goal, OK?’ Some were well off and the deacons discreetly got gifts to pass on to those in need, old cars were handed on and even rents were kept lower.
We were blessed with people’s thoughtfulness, kindness, generosity and creativity and it was fun. There were so many happy memories, fertile soil for children who will grow up loving the God who gave them and staying Christians.
Yours sincerely,
