There are many potential answers to this question.
For myself – a follower of Jesus, a wife of a pastor, a mother to four children, a psychologist, a biblical counsellor, a dancer, a Londoner. All of these things are true of me, but what is my core identity? What really makes me who I am?
The issue of identity seems to be an obsession of our times. We are presented with the malleability of gender, racial, sexual and reputational identities. In the face of this, we are encouraged to (re)create our identity through a journey of self-exploration and self-determination.
Giving the game away
Even if we ourselves aren’t tempted to take such a radical approach, we may still base our identity on roles, achievements, feelings, or the affirmation of others. We may not do so consciously, but creeping feelings of insecurity or inadequacy often give the game away, revealing that we are basing our sense of self – our identity – on such things.
So, for myself, I tend to feel secure in who I am when parenting with patience, enjoying reading God’s Word, and being affirmed in my work. In contrast, I can feel insecure and inadequate when I fail to resist some habitual sin, receive negative feedback, or am reminded by social media of all that I do not have. All of this reveals a fragile (and misplaced) identity.
The fact is, basing our identity on internal thoughts and feelings, or on external roles and reputation, will inevitably lead to a lack of security and safety. That is because none of these things are robust enough to bear the weight of identity. After all, as I am sure you have experienced, roles change, feelings fluctuate and opinions vary.
Grounded in Christ
But, wonderfully, Jesus gives us a sure and steadfast identity. 2 Corinthians 5.17 declares that ‘if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come’! As Christians, we are now defined as being ‘in Christ’. We are unshakably grounded in an eternal person, whose love for us does not change and whose opinion of us will not waver.
Of course we will still experience individual strengths and weaknesses. We will all still exhibit uniqueness and particularities – and wonderfully so. But ultimately, these are not self-defining. Regardless of what you do, what you have, what you feel, what others think, your fundamental identity is in Christ. We are no longer shackled to fluctuating feelings and experiences in this fallen world to give us our sense of identity.
Remember who you are
Were you criticised for your last sermon? You are in Christ – your identity is not based on others’ assessments, but on Christ’s settled assessment of you. Did you have a major parenting failure? You are in Christ – your identity is not based on being a good parent, but on Christ’s good work on your behalf. Do you struggle with same-sex attraction? You are in Christ – your identity is not based on your desires, but on Christ’s desire for you to be his faithful lover. Are people looking to you for wisdom and guidance? You are in Christ – your identity is not in having wisdom, but in knowing wisdom personified – Christ our true guide. Do you struggle with daily anxiety? You are in Christ – good days or bad days, he will remain steadfast. Your fear can never change that.
Whenever we feel insecure or inadequate (which may be a daily experience), let us make a practice of reminding ourselves, and each other, of our true identity. You are deeply loved by the King of all creation, who sees, knows, and covers all your glory and shame, your worth and unworthiness, your failure and success. Brothers and sisters, you are in Christ – forgiven, redeemed, reconciled, and one day to be gloriously restored. This is who you are! Roles and reputation may change, but he never will. And as we grasp our true identity, it will ultimately shape what we do, think and feel (rather than the other way around), and will liberate us to grow and flourish as unique individuals, secure in Christ.
