An eight-year-old boy walks through his front door in tears. His Christian mum walks in behind him. They are just back from the school run.
He runs off to his room shouting: ‘I’m never going to school again.’ He says he has no friends. He says he always plays alone. Every night he cries, begging his mum to let him stay at home, ‘just for tomorrow’.
Mum slumps down at the kitchen table. What will she say this time? What will she do this time? See his teacher again? Book a playdate with the nearest thing to a friend? Ask to see the head teacher? Take him for an even larger McDonald’s?
Will she wonder how the gospel impacts this moment and his sense of identity?
‘This is me’: Who am I?
‘Who am I?’ How would the children in your church answer that question? Say their name and perhaps their school? Their gender? Might they fill the silence with their hobbies or their teams? Would they then go flushed and blurt out: ‘I’m a Christian’?
The spirit of our age says that our children can give any answer they choose. They can be whoever they want to be. They get to decide, based on how they feel. According to the world: ‘If I feel it – it’s true’. We are the masters of ourselves and of our future.
Younger children sing along with their heroes in Frozen 2: Show yourself Step into your power Grow yourself Into something new You are the one you’ve been waiting for
Older children sing along with The Greatest Showman: I am brave, I am bruised I am who I’m meant to be, this is me Look out ’cause here I come And I’m marching on to the beat I drum I’m not scared to be seen I make no apologies, this is me
If their answer is ‘I am what I feel’ then they will probably look to the opinions and affirmation of others for reassurance. This might be their parents, but it could be their friends or, as teenagers, their social media ‘likes’. Alternatively, they could find their value in their achievements; sporting success, academic grades or popularity. These will eventually leave them unsatisfied, insecure and ultimately alienated from their creator. We would love their affirmation to come from Christ.
Telling a better story
We all agree that feelings matter. The distinctive of Christianity, however, is that it roots feelings in the truth of God. If we are passionate about teaching our children from the Bible, we will want them to know and feel the truth. We find out who we are, who we were made to be, who we have been saved to be and even who we will be. Once our children are secure in their understanding of these truths, they can be confident to make decisions and live life to the full.
God tells our children: ‘You are precious because I made you’; ‘Your body is good because I made it’; and ‘You have infinite value because Christ died for you’. If they know and feel God’s love they will trust and obey Him more fully.
The parents in our churches need our help. That mum we started with needs our help. She could see the teacher. She could book a playdate. She could go to McDonald’s. But during his milkshake, what if she asked: ‘Who does love you? Who says you are precious, because He died for you?’ What if she asked him: ‘Describe the best friend you could imagine.’
There is a conversation that leaves this boy able to evaluate the opinions of others. He can discover that it is only the opinion of Jesus Christ that ultimately matters. Wonderfully, Jesus is the one who by His Spirit never leaves him alone at playtime. The big stretch for this boy is to grasp that his loving Heavenly Father has brought him into His own family, by faith. He will never be thrown out, he will never be told that he is alone and unloved. He belongs. Does the opinion of one class of children really matter?
