Pray like a child with your child in tears

When my child is crying, my prayers are different.

They have a problem and I can’t fix it. I take it to our Father in heaven. He loves my child more than I do. He has all power at His disposal. The words I pray feel like they really matter.

Prayer feels risky

When I pray with my child, there is someone else listening, someone else who will be watching to see how (and whether) my prayers are answered. These prayers feel like a big risk. It’s not just my fears that are being held in God’s palm. To my imperfect faith, it feels like the next day (because our children usually want quick answers) will see my child’s faith grow or shrink dependent on God’s decision.

Faith in Kids has just recorded a podcast episode with Paul Mallard (author of Invest Your Suffering) on walking with our children through suffering. As we talked about how we pray in those moments, he explained that if your arm was strapped motionless to your side for a year, it would shrivel up, becoming unresponsive. Using your arm daily means it stays strong. Challenging your arm to attempt heavy tasks makes it stronger.

God places us (and our children) in difficult situations so that our faith will grow. We have to pray and watch for his purposes to be worked out. It is a risk to pray with our children, but there is no other way forward for a Christian parent.

Pray like a child

If we want good things for our children, we will pray. It might be that as parents we learn for the first time how to come to God like a child (Matt.18:3).

Every parent knows how children come with their requests. Incessantly! Sometimes politely, sometimes screaming, sometimes through tears, sometimes as a last resort. They need us. They cannot get through a day on their own and they cannot fix all their own problems.

We know when to say ‘Yes’. We know when to say ‘No’ because it is not for their good. We also know when to hold them tight and say ‘You’re going to have to wait.’ When we pray, we are trusting God to do the same – to say ‘Yes’, or ‘No’ or ‘Not right now’ according to his perfect wisdom. We understand that the answer may need some explaining to our children.

And when we are sitting together in tears, unable to explain, we find ourselves praying with the father who came to Jesus for his son’s healing: ‘I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!’ (Mark 9:24). It is alright to weep with our children and say, ‘I don’t understand, I wish it was different, but I trust God.’ All of this is how faith is learnt and this is how faith grows.

Learning to pray

We were asked recently by a parent how to teach a child to pray. There are some simple answers like thank God before meals, pray before bed and let them catch you praying (often). It is good for them to learn that prayer is just talking to their heavenly Dad. They don’t need long words. They don’t even need whole sentences. They don’t need to pray out loud, and they don’t have to be in a special place.

Yet prayer is also a discipline that needs to be learnt and practiced. Parents are in the best position to teach children to pray in everyday life. Especially when it’s a risk, when it’s needed most and when we, and our child, have nowhere else to go.

Ed Drew is the Director of Faith in Kids (www. faithinkids.org) which exists to see confident parents and thriving churches raising children together to trust Jesus eternally. He is the host of the Faith in Kids podcast, helping parents to walk through their everyday with Christ.