Being let down hurts. It can leave us feeling isolated to the core.
I’m not talking here about the kind of being let down that comes from gross moral failure, or malicious betrayal. I mean the kind of being let down that happens when people just don’t show up to help. The kind of being let down that stems from people staying silent in a debate; deciding not to give; forgetting to pray for an important life event or choosing not to jump to our defence (or our cause) in a social media storm.
It’s not that people are actively against us, they’re just not with us – they choose to stand silently by when we had hoped or heard they were going to offer support.
Abandoned and struggling
Such silence on the part of our friends or colleagues can nudge us towards sadness. There can be heaviness in our hearts, doubting whether our friends really are friends at all. It can nudge us towards anger too. Don’t they see how urgent things are? Surely they should have stepped in. There are moments when it tempts us to despair. We know we can’t tread our path alone – if our friends won’t help, who will?
Of course, there can be a myriad reasons why people sit on the sidelines. Sometimes people simply have nothing left to give. Exhaustion or other distractions dominate. On other occasions, people might be scared. Doing the right thing can come at great cost, and who hasn’t bailed at a crucial time? And there can be moments when people stand aside, not because they disagree with what we are saying but how we are saying it. They can’t bring themselves to come alongside us whilst our passion boils over (it’s worth checking our output with that in mind from time to time). But, whatever their reasons, being let down is painful and out of that pain we have to choose the way we respond.
Abandoned and trusting
Paul – in his second letter to Timothy – provides us with an example here. He was largely alone: only Luke was with him, others were focused elsewhere (4:11). He’d been through a trial and no-one had come to his aid (4:16). Indeed, everyone in the province of Asia had deserted him (1:15) and that hurt. Interestingly, however, there isn’t a hint of bitterness in his letter. Nor a desire to lash out in revenge (judgment is for God alone).
His letter is dripping with thanksgiving – for all Jesus has done and for those brothers who have been faithful in standing firm elsewhere. It’s overflowing with encouragement to help Timothy keep going in the middle of his tough time. Paul is keen to help others – and he knows his readers, then and now, need to hear a spur not just to faithfulness but to godliness too. Pain is no excuse for godless chatter (2:16) or stupid arguments (2:23). Rather there is an acknowledgement that the kind of pressure both he and Timothy are under are entirely to be expected in these last days (3:1-9).
He’s not naively stoic. He names (with an air of sadness) some of those who have let him down and those who have opposed. He acknowledges his need – both of friends (4:11) and his cloak and scrolls (4:13). This man is willing to show he’s weak and ask for help. But he’s not angry. He doesn’t lash out. He doesn’t say ‘Why me?’. He isn’t rocked by being let down. And that is because his confidence is in God – the hard things that are going on are put into perspective by radical trust in the Lord who died for him, who loves him and has made his future safe.
Paul ends by reminding us of God’s strength (4.17), God’s power to rescue (4:18) and the primacy of God’s glory in all things (4:18). When we are let down, may the Lord help us to utter words that honour Christ in just such ways!
