Many years ago, I had a conversation with a true Bristolian who was on the oversight of the church I attended (I loved how he said ‘oversight’ in his Bristolian, and can hear it still). He explained to me why he believed that we will not recognise one another in glory. He thought that it would just be too painful because, simply, we have hurt one another, and it would recall the painful memories for all eternity.
I can’t recall if he mentioned this (it was over 30 years ago), but I guess it would be possible to meet someone who had even murdered you (and later came to Christ), and so if there was recognition that could be very traumatic.
Of course, we understand this viewpoint, knowing that God has promised to wipe away all the tears, but we cannot agree with the conclusion that we will not recognise one another in heaven or the new creation because the Biblical story, taken carefully and fully, gives us a quite different impression.
There are perhaps a couple of flashpoints to investigate: the two on the road to Emmaus in Luke 24 and Mary in the garden in John 20, because on both of these occasions there is some (initial) non-recognition. Otherwise, there is no suggestion of non-recognition in the Biblical accounts.
First the two disciples on the road to Emmaus. They did not recognise Jesus, but why? Their faces were downcast (v17) but there is a greater reason, and we are told very clearly: “They were kept from recognising him” (v16). And what is that but an act of divine intervention for the purpose of what had to follow, a deep dive Bible study to show that the Messiah had first to suffer, then enter His glory (v26). This, and not seeing the risen Jesus, would be their basis going forward. And it has been ever since, till He comes again and we see Him as He is.
Later in v33 we are again told very clearly, “their eyes were opened” as He broke bread in their home, a second act of divine intervention that allowed for instant recognition. When their eyes were opened, they recognised Him immediately. He disappeared from their sight and then they also realised the powerful effect of their earlier Bible study – the evident purpose of the temporary non-recognition.
The second scenario is that of Mary in the garden, when Jesus suddenly appears to her in John 20v14-16. She does not at first recognise Him, but there are clear reasons for this, both psychological and physical.
Psychologically, He is the last person she is expecting to see. She had come not in any hope of resurrection, but to put spices on His lifeless corpse. She had no expectation of resurrection whatever. This was of course true of all the disciples.
And physically, along with the darkness (v1), she had been crying (v11; can you imagine the tears she must have been weeping?) and the tears may well have been blurring her vision. But this is soon to change, and I think the most exciting part of this is what triggers her recognition. What is it? It is His voice! The Master’s voice! As soon as she hears it, she knows. And just one word, her name: “Mary”.
I take it from this that in resurrection bodies, as gloriously transformed as they will be (1 Cor. 15, Phil. 3), even our voices will be recognisable. Recognisably you! There will be that level of continuity with our present bodies (these very bodies will be raised, not some “new” ones) and that depth of recognition.
God will wipe away the tears, but not all the memories. We will not be brainwashed by God in heaven. One imagines in fact that our memories along with our minds will be sharper than ever. I like Randy Alcorn’s take (in his book, Heaven) that rather than being brainwashed, we will undergo a transformation of perspective (already at work, Romans 12v2) that will allow us to see, and even celebrate, that God was working all things, all these things, together for our good. That takes care of the objection that it will bring back bad memories.
So, we can be confident, and happy, that we will recognise one another, and we will be together forever with the Lord (1 Thess. 4v17).
But let us be careful not to fall into the trap of the world and think most of reunion with lost loved ones (who belong to Jesus). As wonderful as this will be, the heart of the Christian hope is the blessed sight of the Saviour (the “beatific vision”). The focus of heaven and its praise will be the One who sits on the throne and the Lamb (Rev. 5). If we think of heaven only as seeing again mother/ father/ husband/ wife (or indeed Spurgeon or Abraham for that matter), we need to think again about our Christian (specifically Christ-ian) hope, and perhaps even our Christian faith, because this is the “hope”, so often expressed, of the unbeliever. The heart of the Christian hope is that we will see Him as He is, in all His marvellous glory, and be like Him (1 John 3 v2).
