Dear Editor,
I was pleased to read the interview with Dr Diane Langberg (en November 2022). I admire the work that Dr Langberg has done and do not disagree with anything she said.
I am concerned however that discussions of abuse often focus exclusively on women and girls. As a practising psychologist I have frequently had to deal with cases of abuse (physical, emotional or sexual) that have been committed against men and boys. This abuse can be committed by either a male or female.
Let me give just one example: We have known for some time that girls can be sexually abused by their fathers or by other male family members. This is true both inside and outside the Christian church. Do we have the same awareness when it comes to boys?
Dr Lucetta Thomas, psychologist who studies mother/son sexual abuse (i.e. sexual abuse of a boy by his biological mother), identifies a number of ‘strong, but invisible’ myths in regard to male victims of sexual abuse. These include:
• Boys and men can’t be victims – they must have consented.
• A mother would never do this; she was just being overly affectionate.
• If a boy experiences sexual arousal or orgasm from abuse, this means he was a willing participant or enjoyed it.
• Boys are less traumatised by the abuse experience than girls; boys are sex-focused anyway.
• The mother or son must have mental health issues.*
This is of course just one of many forms of abuse that a boy can suffer. As Christians we need to be aware. Assumptions that are neither Biblically nor scientifically based only allow further abuse to occur.
Yours sincerely
John Steley By email
