Caring for others is a privilege beyond compare.
Whether it’s an elderly parent, disabled sibling, struggling spouse, housebound neighbour or friend facing challenges in their mental health, as Christians we are called to move towards those in need and love them with Christ-like hearts.
For most people, that caring role takes some hours of our week. For others, caring for an individual becomes the main focus of every day. People resign from their jobs, put their hopes and dreams on hold, in order to keep their loved ones safe and supported by people they know.
No easy task
Such caring has its rewards – honouring parents is a biblical call (Exodus 20.12), supporting friends inside and outside the church a gospel delight (Galatians 6.10) – relationships can be strengthened and lives transformed. But it is no easy task. Such Christians face many challenges – none are easy to bear.
Exhaustion is often the first to rear its head. A dawn to dusk routine easily takes its toll. Interrupted sleep and physical lifting all play their part in keeping carers drained.
Emotional stress is exhaustion’s close ally, especially if the person being cared for has behaviour that is difficult to endure. Some days sanity seems to slip away – the juggling of tasks has a relentless edge and days off can be too rare to bring any true relief.
Financial struggles can follow: part-time or no paid work at all, quickly depletes accounts and makes luxuries a thing of the past.
But the trials of poverty often pale in the wake of the isolation that caring responsibilities bring: the stark reality is that it’s hard to leave the home when looking after the needs of someone at risk and few people pop by to check all is going OK. Involvement in church can quietly ebb away.
Questions of identity often flood the mind: Am I loved? Do I count? Surely God wants something better than this for all involved! Finally, there’s the matter of guilt: many doubting the care they give is truly good enough; some hating themselves for longing for the duties to end; a few deeply convicted that their frustrations have got the better of them yet again.
Church’s key role
In the midst of all this the church has a pivotal role to play. Keeping in touch is always the place to begin. An email with a link to a sermon online undoubtedly has its place, but how much better for a friend to arrange a time to drop by (maybe bringing a meal with them too) so they can listen together and pray. A few moments of discussion (albeit interrupted at times) can helpfully follow on.
Phone calls or texts can be useful ways to give and receive requests for prayer. If there is a number of people caring within a congregation why not set up a group online? Each can listen to the sermon in their own time and post their questions and reflections to one another when caring responsibilities allow. They can share struggles too. We all need a safe space to be honest about our hearts and allow the light of Christ to shine in the dark recesses within.
Building others up in specific ways is another important role (1 Thessalonians 5:11). When was the last time we reminded a person who is caring of their status as precious child of the risen Lord (1 John 3.1)? How often do we spur others on by reminding them that they are equipped to serve in the ways they have been called (2 Peter 1.3)? Do we have the courage to talk about the need to forgive and to persevere with those who want to give up? Do we celebrate their servant-heartedness as spiritual fruit (Galatians 5) and pray for them in services or groups?
A bit of respite
And why not offer them real time away – help them access respite care or maybe a couple of people from church can do an hour of caring instead? Give them the opportunity to run, drink coffee, have a haircut, sleep, read and spend time in Psalm 96 remembering afresh the glory of God and delighting in his precious name. It is, after all, him who is leading them through every day of their care.
