Dear Editor,
I would like to respond to Ed Drew’s article "Gentle parenting or Biblical parenting."
My children and I love the Faith in Kids podcast for Kids, and I would like to thank Ed for all he does in the world of Christian kids’ work. Therefore my comments come carefully and with respect.
Having recently spent a lot of time studying different parenting models and searching Scripture as a Christ-loving, Bible-following mother, I would like to bring forward some thoughts. I appreciated much of what was said in the article in support of Biblical parenting and agree that culture has taken the principles behind Gentle parenting and pushed them to the extreme, leading to a permissive model of parenting, just as some sadly push the so-called Biblical model to the extreme, leading to harm.
However I would like to present a third alternative rather than only comparing Biblical and Gentle parenting. There are many parents and parenting teachers who are leading the way in a model which combines much of the beneficial elements of Gentle parenting with very firm boundaries and consequences and a stance firmly rooted in Scripture. No permissiveness here.
What the previous generation (the described grandad) may be observing is the tendency of modern Christian parents to want to move away from some elements of traditional Christian parenting which can lead to harm and disconnected relationships, but sadly swinging too far to permissiveness and Gentle parenting as taught by secular culture. I believe this is because of a lack of teaching about alternative tools to use. They know what they don’t want to do, but not what they do want to do and are left with few tools in their parenting toolkit. However there are wonderful resources by Christian parenting writers and teachers, rooted in Scripture, which help parents to navigate the line of being both kind and firm leaders in their homes. Being the God-given authority and displaying that in a truly Christlike way, filled with the fruit of the Spirit. They provide practical tools to use for those not wanting to rely on fear, force, bribery and rewards as the main incentives to behaviour management.
For anyone interested they can look at the websites of both the Connected Families ministry and the Flourishing Homes and Families ministry, both of which have written books and have workshops and podcasts for Christian families.
Yours sincerely,
Anna (surname withheld)
By email
