It was the start of a large event and the youth group had a crisis. It was their first evening and too many leaders were late arriving. The clock was ticking. I was searching for reliable, willing adults to stand in for the evening.
I was directed to a local godly retired woman. She was available but could not see how she was suitable. She felt out of touch with their fashions, tastes, technology and interests. I finished by saying that I expected the young people to walk into the room feeling awkward, alone and wishing their parents hadn’t brought them. We needed kind adults who could make them feel welcome, ask them good questions and take an interest in their answers. “I can do that!” was her enthusiastic reply. We had a deal. She solved the crisis.
You can predict how that story finished. She saw me later: “You were right. They all walked in eyes down. No smiles. They just needed care and they came alive. I really enjoyed it!”
This is the story of working with young people. Our children and our older folk need each other. Much may have changed in the intervening half a century, but young people still need the care of a godly grandparent figure, who has stories of God’s faithfulness. Older saints are great at telling their stories and reflecting on God’s work in their lives. Younger people need the assurance that brings, though we may have to create the opportunities without distractions and screens.
Multi or inter generational?
Let’s grapple with moving from being a multigenerational to an intergenerational church. A multigenerational church is one where there are multiple generations present in the church family, often involved in separate ministries. This is still worth celebrating, as more than half of UK churches have fewer than five under-16s. Intergenerational ministry brings the generations together in mutual serving, sharing and learning within the life of the church.
This is the Biblical pattern: we are a large family (Josh.8v35, 1 Tim.5 v1-2), not a collection of segregated age groups. We all benefit when we are living the Christian life with people different to ourselves, bearing with one another and having to put the needs of the other before our own. Indeed, perhaps our churches are a rare place where there is meaningful interaction across the generations.
Both generations risk being left out because of their limitations, but we don’t value people by their ability to lead or to financially give, or their physical strength. There is also an urgency for both generations as a window of opportunity is closing: the period of development for the child and their mortal life for the seniors.
A lot to offer
The younger and the older generations have a lot to offer one another. The younger generation can offer physical vitality and carefree play. The older generation can offer wisdom and that most priceless combination – time, patience and care. I hear of toddler groups that are happening at one end of a hall with a seniors’ coffee morning happening at the other end, because there is wonder in the meeting.
There are ministries happening in seniors’ residential homes, where children visit to participate, to serve and to be given responsibility. We hear that our free downloadable resources are being used in seniors’ settings because their gospel-hearted simplicity is needed with both generations. On a recent podcast we heard about a Sunday School where each child had to tell a specific older saint their memory verse to gain the reward.
It will require creativity to find ways to bring the generations together. It will also require persuasion and care as seniors have often lost confidence. As usual, anything of spiritual value is going to require leadership. Let’s pray that the Lord will give us eyes to see the opportunities for intergenerational relationships in our own church context, and wisdom to make the most of them.
